5 easy ways to help others (and give yourself a happiness boost)

Even though research says helping others is one of the main ways to achieve happiness, it seems too easy to say "I'm too busy to help others." So, here are a few suggestions from happify on how to help others without much effort or time.

The 5 Easiest Ways to Give Others (and Yourself) a Happiness Boost

By Jessica Cassity

Little things matter: even the smallest gestures add up to big happiness gains.

Hundreds of studies have found that actively helping people does good things for the psyches of all involved. By going out of your way to bring dinner to an overworked friend, pay for someone else's highway toll, or otherwise lend a hand, you get a positive brain boost and so does the person you helped.

But Paul Zak, PhD, a neuroeconomist and a professor at Claremont Graduate University, says even less tangible acts of kindness can make the giver—and especially the recipient—feel good. These small deeds require minimal effort on your part but are often experienced just as deeply—or even more so—than many of the run-of-the-mill things people do to be good to one another.

Here are five of Dr. Zak's favorite ways to give the people in his life a little happiness boost (while reaping some of those same feel-good benefits for himself!). See which ones work best for you.

1. Ask “How can I be of service to you?”

Zak repeats this phrase in just about every meeting he attends. Doing so makes your collaborators feel supported and heard, which is especially important around the workplace. This also gives your colleagues a chance to air concerns and ask for any additional help they might need. Of course, this phrase can be used with anyone at any time. If a friend or family member is going through a transition or a busier than usual period—such as welcoming a new baby—a check-in like this will be much appreciated.

how to get more done

As a mom, business owner, wife and someone who likes to do a few things for myself (writing and blogging come to mind), I'm always looking for ways to be more efficient.  Here's another good reminder on how to structure our lives better.  From Eric Barker:

How to Stop Being Lazy and Get More Done - 5 Expert Tips

Some days the to-do list seems bottomless. Just looking at it is exhausting.

We all want to know how to stop being lazy and get more done. I certainly want the answer.

So I decided to call a friend who manages to do this — and more.

Cal Newport impresses the heck out of me. Why? Well, I’m glad you asked. He’sinsanely productive:

1. He has a full-time job as a professor at Georgetown University, teaching classes and meeting with students.
2. He writes 6 (or more) peer-reviewed academic journal papers per year.
3. He’s the author of 4 books including the wonderful “So Good They Can’t Ignore You.” And he’s at work on a fifth.
4. He’s married with a young child and handles all the responsibilities that come with being a husband and dad.
5. He blogs regularly about productivity and expert performance.

And yet he finishes work at 5:30PM every day and rarely works weekends. 

No, he does not have superpowers or a staff of 15. Okay, let’s you and I both stop being jealous of his productivity for a second and learn something.

Below you’ll get Cal’s secrets on how you can better manage your time, stop being lazy, get more done — and be finished by 5:30. Let’s get to work.

1) To-Do Lists Are Evil. Schedule Everything.

To-do lists by themselves are useless. They’re just the first step. You have to assign them time on your schedule.6 Why?

It makes you be realistic about what you can get done. It allows you to do tasks when it’s efficient, not just because it’s #4.

Until it’s on your calendar and assigned an hour, it’s just a list of wishful thinking.

spaces after periods

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Am I the only person who is still using two spaces after a period? I just learned that that way of doing things became outmoded, oh, a decade ago. What?! I knew I lived under a rock, but gosh, am I the only one who still thought two spaces after a period were A-OK?

So, here we go, transitioning to a sentence followed by just one space. It seems like such a minor detail, but as this article from Slate (from three years ago!) points out, the people who are used to using two spaces feel it is very correct. Yup.

So, in with the not-so-new and out with the super-old. We're getting rid of clutter at home and extra spaces in our writing. Rock on.

a little inspiration for you

Here's a post from design*sponge to inspire you:

5 VIDEOS + TALKS GUARANTEED TO INSPIRE YOU

Everyone finds motivation in different places. Some people prefer it in the form of one-on-one conversations, some enjoy books and others like to see something that combines the power of in-person talks with the ease of a play-on-demand video. I’m working on my own speech for this year’s Weapons of Mass Creation Fest in Ohio, so I decided to round up 5 of the talks (available to watch instantly in video form) that have inspired me the most. From talks on creativity and motivation to opening your mind to new solutions, these people had not only the great ideas and advice to share with all of us, they had the guts to do it on a BIG stage. Thank you to all of these incredible artists, makers and creatives for sharing these inspiring talks, speeches and moments with us online. I will be watching a few of these over and over for years to come. You never know when you’ll need a little pick-me-up or pep talk. xo, grace

“Don’t allow yourself to be tricked into thinking that the way things are is the way the world must work.” -Charlie Kaufman

crappy pictures

For every mom who has been up all night nursing a little one, enjoy!

WHAT IT IS LIKE TO (NOT) SLEEP AT NIGHT – ILLUSTRATED WITH CRAPPY PICTURES™

JUNE 9, 2011 COMMENTS (869)

INTRO: Here is installment #2 in my “real life parenting” series.  I draw crappy pictures because I don’t have actual photos of these experiences.  Here goes…

——————————————————

I’ve always been jealous of my husband’s ability to fall asleep and stay asleep. It isn’t his fault that he is a deep sleeper.  But I can’t help it.  It totally pisses me off.

We climb in bed at 9:00PM…

By 9:03 my husband is completely asleep.

I’m nursing my youngest and haven’t even begun to think about sleeping yet.  I lay there motionless, pretending to be calm and relaxed so he’ll fall asleep. Anyway, I’m cold since the blankets aren’t on my top half.

bye bye, mommy guilt

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Today, I had a beautiful day with my friend who is a full-time stay-at-home mom.  She constantly researches and creates amazing activities for her two daughters, and when she invited my daughter and me to go for a hike today, I bolted out the door with daughter in hand.  My daughter is two years old and has never been on a hike, and it's about time I shared this experience with her.  

I run a business and have more or less neglected my daughter for the last two years.  I'm just starting to catch my breath with my business and spend more quality time with my daughter, and this mom is an inspiration to me.

So, it was a big surprise when she said she felt less-than for not having a job and guilty for not showing her daughters that a woman can be a capable professional outside of the home.  The exact opposite of my feeling guilty that I am always working and never plan anything more than an hour at the playground with my girl while my friend is planning Science Thursdays and trips to waterparks with hers.  

So, my mental traffic says I'm a bad mom, hers says she's one for the opposite reasons, and I realized it is all a load of you-know-what.

If we love our kids and do the best we can, then they'll see that is what life is-- balancing mountains of competing choices and trying to make it work.  Isn't that enough?

first-world problems

This is a little heavier than my usual posts, but it's such a compelling and concrete example of our first-world problems and a good reminder to keep things in perspective.

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life hacks from quora

I love quora.  Life hacks, interesting and thoughtful questions and answers, and a great way to procrastinate learn about a variety of topics.

For example, my drawers are never going to look the same again after seeing this (and I have a pair of jeans I could resurrect with the second lifehack, too):

Tips and Hacks for Everyday Life: What can I learn right now in just 10 minutes that could be useful for the rest of my life?Tricia Hosein, Serendipity3.7k upvotes by Garrick Saito, Pat Burns, Gautam Ganesh, (more)
Place T-shirts in drawer vertically instead of laying them flat. Easier to find and so much more added room!
This works perfectly and came in handy this weekend when I wore my favorite jeans that has a zipper that refuses to stay up.

Or if you like useless information random trivia:

Why do people drive above the speed limit?Matt Wasserman, I'm a doctor, I'm a lawyer, I'... (more) 170 upvotes by Garrick Saito, Wing Chau, Robert Frost, (more)Because speed limits are no longer set the way they should be.  

how a password can revolutionize your life

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This article may make you erase all of your saved passwords as a password-as-mantra becomes a life-changing new tool.

Can password therapy really improve your life? Mauricio Estrella, an associate creative director in Shanghai, developed a unique way to create and remember passwords. He used a personal goal to create an affirmation and it became a password infused with the power of positive thinking. Here’s his story…

“How could she do something like this to me?” said the voice in my head, over and over.

It was 2011 and I was stuck in middle of a pretty bad depression due to my divorce.

Thankfully, I think I was smart enough (and had great people around me) so I managed my way out.

One day I walk into the office, and my computer screen showed me the following message:

“Your password has expired. Click ‘Change password’ to change your password.”

I read this dumb message in my mind with angry grandpa voice: The darn password has expired.

At my workplace, the Microsoft Exchange server is configured to ask thousands of employees around the planet to change their passwords. Every 30 days.

Here what’s annoying: The server forces us to use at least one UPPERCASE character, at least one lowercase alphabetic character, at least one symbol and at least one number. Oh, and the whole thing can’t be less than 8 characters. And I can’t use any of the same passwords I’ve used in the last 3 months.

I was furious that morning. A sizzling hot Tuesday, it was 9:40 a.m and I was late to work. I was still wearing my bike helmet and had forgotten to eat breakfast. I needed to get things done before a 10 a.m. meeting and changing passwords was going to be a huge waste of time.

As the input field with the pulsating cursor was waiting for me to type a password — something I’d use many times during every day — I remembered a tip I heard from my former boss.

And I decided: I’m gonna use a password to change my life.

It was obvious that I couldn’t focus on getting things done with my current lifestyle and mood. Of course, there were clear indicators of what I needed to do — or what I had to achieve — in order to regain control of my life, but we often don’t pay attention to these clues.

My password became the indicator. My password reminded me that I shouldn’t let myself be victim of my recent break up, and that I’m strong enough to do something about it.

My password became: “Forgive@h3r”

how to turn pessimism into optimism

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Here are some excerpts from bakadesuyo.com (a research-based blog that shows you "how to be awesome at life") on how to convert pessimism to optimism.

Here's why it's worth trying:

Scientific research has come up with a long list of benefits to being optimistic. Here are just a few:

1. Optimism is associated with better health and a longer life.
2. Research has shown that practicing optimism and gratitude causes (not just correlates with) an increase in happiness.
3. The army teaches soldiers to be optimistic because it makes them tougher and more persistent.
4. Being socially optimistic — expecting people to like you — makes people like you more.
5. Expecting a positive outcome from negotiations made groups more likely to come to a deal and to be happy with it.
6. Optimists are luckier. Research shows by thinking positive they persevere and create more opportunities for themselves.
7. Optimistic salespeople are more successful.

The list goes on and on. Being optimistic is one of the ten things I recommend you do every day and something associated with great lives.

And here's how you actually do it:

The 3 P’s

It all comes down to what researchers call “explanatory style.” When bad things happen, what kind of story do you tell yourself?

There are three important elements here. Let’s call them the 3 P’s: permanence, pervasiveness and whether it’s personal.