asunción, paraguay

Back to the travels! It feels like ancient history now, but I'd still like to share some of what we discovered. We started our South America trip with Paraguay, which is not an obvious destination but is definitely an agreeable way to pass a few weeks (or however long you have).

Paraguay doesn't boast many tourist destinations, its cities are tiny (and bus rides between them long), and even the food isn't something to write home about, BUT the people are lovely, the music and crafts are unique and lovingly created, the architecture is charmingly colonial and vibrantly colored, and there seemed to be no tourists anywhere. (Unless you count the Argentines, who cross the border to shop because goods are cheaper in Paraguay.)

When we arrived in Asunción, we liked that the airport and city were so small, we could just walk out of the airport and hop on a bus to the downtown.

And one can't help but love a country in which everyone carries their own thermos of tea around with them (hot for winter and iced for summer). Since thermoses are so ubiquitous, you can personalize and find just the one to suit you.

Here are some colorful doilies I've never seen anywhere else:

There are random murals everywhere, like in this park:

Even the sidewalks seemed to have personality:

We enjoyed just wandering around:

It just seemed like everything sparkled with quirk and life. Even our snacks were charming. Here's what a fruit salad and ham and cheese toast look like:

Here's their lovely senate building:

There's a neat blend of old and new in the culture, as nicely embodied in this old red brick mission-turned-mirrored-glass-office building downtown:

And the long bus rides are made palatable by a constant offering of food. When you board the bus, when the bus stops, and at random intervals, people will appear out of nowhere and either sidle up alongside the bus or board the bus with baskets of chipa (chewy, cheesy bread-- yum), sweet pastries, fruits, sandwiches and sometimes even little take-out boxes of meat and rice.

And you can say what you like, but the Irish presence in South America cannot be denied:

how to win friends and influence people

Okay, this sounds like the corniest title ever, but I now wish I'd read this book ten years ago (at least!). Not only did I learn a lot, I realized I was doing all of the terrible things the book recommends against. I'm embarrassed to admit I criticize, I argue, I interrupt and I get mad at silly things. In order to rectify this, I've just sent this email to my husband, mom and brother:

Dear family,

After reading How to Win Friends and Influence People, I realize I've been making many of the mistakes the book talks about. I want to be my best self, so I'm going to make a few changes that I think you'll really like. Really, really like. :-) I'm putting this down in writing so you can hold me to it (oh, boy!).

From today on,

1. I will not criticize.

At least, not until I'm perfect. It may take a while, but hey, you never know. :-)

Confucius said, "Do not complain about the snow on your neighbor's roof when your own doorstep is unclean."

2. I will not argue.

Benjamin Franklin said, "If you rankle and argue and contradict, you may achieve a victory sometimes; but it will be an empty victory because you will never get your opponent's good will."

Abraham Lincoln said, "No man who is resolved to make the most of himself can spare time for personal contention. Still less can he afford to take the consequences, including the vitiation [corruption] of his temper and the loss of self-control. Yield larger things to which you show no more than equal rights; and yield lesser ones though clearly your own. Better give your path to a dog than be bitten by him in contesting for the right. Even killing the dog would not cure the bite."

For Mama: (沒有人誰是決心使自己最能騰出時間個人爭。更不能他冒不起的後果，包括vitiation (corruption)他的脾氣和損失的自我控制。產量越做越大，您最多顯示的平等權利;及產量較少雖然清楚自己的。最好給你的路徑是狗比咬了他對參加競爭的權利。即使不打死狗治愈咬.)

3. I will not interrupt.

Dale Carnegie (the author of the book) said, "If you want to know how to make people shun you and laugh at you behind your back and even despise you, here is the recipe: Never listen to anyone for long. Talk incessantly about yourself. If you have an idea while the other person is talking, don't wait for him or her to finish: bust right in and interrupt in the middle of a sentence."

4. I will think before I react.

An article from the Economic Press said, "You can measure the size of a person by what makes him or her angry."

Love,

Jennifer

P.S. I also typed up a passage from the book I thought you might appreciate:

How to keep a disagreement from becoming an argument
(article from the Economic Press)


Welcome the disagreement. Remember the slogan, “When two partners always agree, one of them isn’t necessary.” If there is some point you haven’t thought about, be thankful it is brought to your attention. Perhaps this disagreement is your opportunity to be corrected before you make a serious mistake.

Distrust your first instinctive impression. Our first natural reaction in a disagreeable situation is to be defensive. Be careful. Keep calm and watch out for your first reaction. It may be you at your worst, not your best.

Control your temper. Remember, you can measure the size of a person by what makes him or her angry.

Listen first. Give your opponents a chance to talk. Let them finish. Do not resist, defend or debate. This only raises barriers. Try to build bridges of understanding. Don’t build higher barriers of misunderstanding.

Look for areas of agreement. When you have heard your opponents out, dwell first on the points and areas on which you agree.

Be honest. Look for areas where you can admit error and say so. Apologize for your mistakes. It will help disarm your opponents and reduce defensiveness.

Promise to think over your opponents’ ideas and study them carefully. And mean it. Your opponents may be right. It is a lot easier at this stage to agree to think about their points than to move rapidly ahead and find yourself in a position where your opponents can say: “We tried to tell you, but you wouldn’t listen.”

Thank your opponents sincerely for their interest. Anyone who takes the time to disagree with you is interested in the same things you are. Think of them as people who really want to help you, and you may turn your opponents into friends.

Postpone action to give both sides time to think through the problem. Suggest that a new meeting be held later that day or the next day, when all the facts may be brought to bear. In preparation for this meeting, ask yourself some hard questions:

Could my opponents be right? Partly right? Is there truth or merit in their position or argument? Is my reaction one that will relieve the problem, or will it just relieve any frustration? Will my reaction drive my opponents further away or draw them closer to me? Will my reaction elevate the estimation good people have of me? Will I win or lose? What price will I have to pay if I win? If I am quiet about it, will the disagreement blow over? Is this difficult situation an opportunity for me?

from world travel to real life

I'll get back to catching up on our travels soon, but I need a place to go for a moment where I can organize my thoughts.

Sadly, my incredibly kind mother-in-law has a brain tumor, and my partner and I have now been in DC for almost three weeks, waiting for her to come out of intensive care in the hospital.

The days blur together into a strange mix of visiting Mutti (our nickname for my mother-in-law) in the hospital from morning till night, coming home to eat at odd hours and then rushing back to the hospital, and yelling at the television while watching World Cup soccer. (And the darn psychic octopus isn't helping.)

The bad news is that Mutti's tumor is at least a grade 3 (out of 4, 4 being the worst), and she hasn't been able to do much since her operation. The good news is that the hospital is taking good care of her, and she's coming back slowly but surely.

She is awake now for much longer, she squeezes our hands, she tapped her toes when an upbeat Roberto Carlo song came on (we brought in some music we thought she would like), she waved goodbye to her husband when he was leaving the other night, and she even smiled at my little sister-in-law's boyfriend today.

So, we have hope, but it's been a tough process. For the record, Mutti was the epitome of health before all of this brain tumor business: in Mexico, she did yoga every morning and walked miles on the beach, she ate tiny portions of food (usually salads) and drank gallons of water, etc. We were all shocked.

The other rather remarkable positive is that the entire family (with wives, babies, boyfriend and all) is here, going to see Mutti day and night. But my in-laws are amazing like that-- everything else (jobs, medical school, house-hunting...) gets pushed back if the family needs us all to be here.

Well, that's basically it. I guess I just needed to get that off my chest. I haven't told anyone other than my parents and brother about Mutti's brain tumor because we still don't have complete information yet.

Thanks for letting me vent. If you can, send some healing vibes to Mutti. You'd love her if you knew her, and I think she could use all the support she can get.

zanzibar

The legendary spice island is home to both picture-perfect white sand beaches and Stone Town, where you're transported back a few centuries to narrow alleys and tiny shops, incredible historic wooden doors, old window shutters and beautiful crumbling buildings. It reminded me of Morocco but with a laid-back tropical vibe.

I also thought it was neat that when you arrive on the boat from Dar es Salaam, you get papers from the "Revolutionary Government of Zanzibar." They are technically a part of Tanzania, but culturally, it feels quite different. Oh, and they really do consider themselves to be a separate entity-- when you come from Tanzania, you have to bring your passport, and you get stamped coming and going as if you were entering a new country.

There is a dreamy shade of blue somewhere between sky blue and periwinkle I now call Zanzibar blue because you see it on many of the window shutters, doors and buildings.

It's a photographer's dream, with stunning shots around every corner. Some images from my first glimpse of the island that I'll never forget: a man riding a bicycle with a little monkey holding onto the handlebars in front of him. An old grey building with a row of tiny Zanzibar blue window shutters and a teenage girl in a black veil leaning out, talking on her cell phone. A Maasai warrior browsing through postcards. The bright blue of the Indian Ocean. And the intricately carved wooden doors that are often older than the (really old) buildings they're standing in.

I could go on and on. One of my favorite images was the bright sun causing the dhows to look as if they were sailing on liquid light.

And how, right around sunset, boys would run from the Forodhani Gardens and dive and somersault into the water.

They'd go on, with onlookers clapping and laughing, until the cops came, and then the evening would quiet and slow down, mellowing with the fading light.

As the sky grew darker, kerosene lamps of the night market would light up one by one until each food stall was glowing.

Shopping in Zanzibar was also a treat. It felt like you were digging through ancient treasure, which, often, you actually were.

Zanzibar was just oozing with beauty and life everywhere I looked. As I'm still catching up, though, I'll just let the rest of the photos speak for themselves. Enjoy!

(Those are soccer scores on the blackboards behind the girls.)

mozambique

Mozambique is the only country in the region not to be colonized by the English, and its Portuguese roots lend it a more laid back vibe. The food is spicier, people dress more like there's a beach nearby, and the seafood is absolutely amazing (especially the prawns).

We started in Maputo, the capital, which was full of surprises. For one, the streets were all named after Communists/Socialists from around the world: Avenida Karl Marx, Avenida Mao Tse Tung, Avenida Ho Chi Minh, as well as streets for Lenin, Stalin, Engels and Allende.

The train station was designed by Monsieur Gustave Eiffel (yes, the Eiffel Tower one) in 1910:

Eiffel also designed the "iron building" in 1892 for the governor to live in, but metal house + tropical heat = não, obrigado, so it now acts as an office.

We went to a 19th century red brick fort in Maputo because my partner's a big history buff:

We really enjoyed the food in Maputo, too. We splurged on an incredible afternoon tea for two on a grassy cliff overlooking the ocean for $9 each.

We stayed with terrific couchsurfers who took us to eat some of the best chicken I've ever had at Feira Popular, a carnival-like place with a ferris wheel, bumper cars and small restaurants.

In general, Maputo was just vibrant in both color and life.

Even the trees on the street were a little more lush in Maputo:

After the city, we wanted to head to the beach, and after some deliberation, Tofo won out.

To get to Tofo, we took yet another share minivan taxi (called chapas (pronounced sha-pas) in Mozambique).

It's interesting to see what would be considered junk/worthy of being thrown away in many other countries being used with no problems (well, more or less) in most of Africa.

The window on the door was a sheet of plastic that was taped on, and it flapped like thunder in the wind.

And there was more stuff crammed in with us than one would think was possible, including huge barrels of kerosene, giant bags of rice, a full-size truck tire and a couple of chickens running around on the floor.

I took this next photo while we were given a quick bathroom break. Just imagine four people in each row added to the piles of stuff, and you'll have a good sense of what our ride was like.

In spite of the lack of space (which we'd gotten used to by this point), it was still a lovely ride along the Mozambique coastline.

Fresh cashews were everywhere, and I loved the way they were displayed along the side of the road:

White plastic bags billowed in the wind like Chinese paper lanterns as you approached, and then you'd see the bags full of cashews dangling from tree branches next to them.

But nothing could beat our first glimpses of the Mozambican water and beaches:

After about nine hours in the chapa, we arrived in Tofo, a little stretch of beach that seemed like it was just ours:

The sand was so fine, it actually squeaked when we walked across it. It sounded like we were walking across a freshly mopped marble floor, and it took us a while to figure out what was going on. But yes, it was definitely the soft sand.

We stayed in a traditional hut made of reeds and straw, just big enough for our bed, and we were right in front of the ocean, so we were pretty happy.

Behind us were endless forests of palm trees.

Our favorite place to eat in Tofo was the very budget-friendly Bread Shack, where we consumed nearly every meal during our stay.

Their bread, bunny chow (for the many South African visitors) and donuts were fresh and delicious.

And when you got tired of looking out at the ocean, you could look the other way:

We didn't do it, but you can go diving with whale sharks around Tofo, and it sounds pretty awesome. Maybe next time...

Okay, so I'm still trying to barrel through and get caught up. So, after Tofo, we went to the historical port town of Inhambane, which was (hallelujah) just an hour away.

My biggest surprise in Inhambane was all of the art deco architecture.

There was also a defunct but charming little train station with an old train on display.

There were beautiful old, crumbling buildings with trees growing out of the windows:

And random little surprises that I found striking and/or beautiful.

There were a variety of places to worship (surprising for how tiny the town is).

And I loved all of the bright colors, both natural and people-made.

This was helped in large part by all of the advertising.

It seemed all of Mozambique was caught in the war between voda and mcel cell phone companies.

I don't have photos of it, but even tiny little shacks on the side of the road were often painted with either mcel or voda advertising. (In Tanzania, the war was between Pepsi and Coke, but Coca Cola had already triumphed in Mozambique, it seemed.)

I also found it interesting that, even when it was just a sand or dirt floor/street, people were very conscientious about sweeping it and keeping it neat and tidy.

Inhambane was a nice surprise, and it seems to have fallen off the traveler's route for a variety of reasons. For one thing, traveling by pothole-ridden roads takes so long that many are opting to head to the Mozambican highlights by air. Another is that most of the tourists in Mozambique are South African, and they tend to head straight to the beaches rather than the charming coastal towns. Inhambane has a port and a peaceful bay but no beaches, so it felt like we (and some German volunteers) were the only outsiders there.

Verdinho's was our favorite restaurant, and we definitely enjoyed a few meals there. Here's a breakfast of french toast with bananas, cashews and honey and yogurt with honey, fruit and muesli. Yum.

So, to cap off this super long catch-up post (and in case it wasn't already completely obvious): we loved Mozambique and would love to go back and spend more time there.