unfurling

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You know that intoxicating, exhilarating feeling you get when you're falling in love with someone or something new? Where you feel like you've been crumpled up into a tight little ball all of your life and can finally spread your wings and be you and free and open and larger than life and part of the universe at large?

I found it.

For now.

I've fallen in love before, felt this high before, and then life gets in the way, and I lose it again. Well, I'm a little older and a little wiser now, and I'm hoping I'll get to enjoy this flight a little longer this time.

And where is this magical feeling? Funny enough, it has been inspired by my first MOOC (massive open online course) that I'm taking with the University of Iowa. Yes, they're considered the bastion of creative writing in the country, etc., etc., etc. And the fiction course has already been both illuminating and fun. But the real spark for me is the combination of actively writing while also being part of a writing community.

It's like being a frog in a duck pond for years and then discovering other frogs. I've finally found my tribe, and we are a wonderfully quirky bunch. We make jokes about Oxford commas, exalt in a beautiful phrase, and delight in making sentences richer or tighter or more compelling. We bang our heads, drawing the famous trio of body fluids (blood, sweat, and tears) as we struggle to translate the inklings in our heads that feel so magnificent into concrete words that will hopefully also make sense to other people. And maybe, just maybe, we'll be able to write something that someone else will recognize as the truth.

I've connected with one writer so far who I'm already calling my MOOC BFF, and she alone has made my experience as a student once again so much more entertaining and more inspiring than I expected or thought possible. Having someone along for the ride, even if I've never seen her face or heard her voice or know what race she is or anything else, has given the solitary writing career a warmth that I didn't realize was possible. We are connecting as writers first and foremost, and that is an amazing validating experience, too. Thanks, Heather. I've only "known" you online and only for a few weeks so far, but you've already made a positive impact in my life.

So, I tried one career after another, "dating" usually for about four years, and now, I think I've found the One. I'm hoping to finally settle down and commit to being a writer. 100%. No more excuses or distractions.

And from this dream cloud I'm floating in, filled with love and light and enthusiasm, I wish this feeling for everyone. I'm working on a screenplay and hoping to finish it this month. Then, I've signed up for NaNoWriMo and hope to write the novel version of the story in November. And then I have another previous story that I hope to craft into both a novel and screenplay. So, I've made my public commitment and now have to live up to it.

What makes you come alive? What would you do if time and money were no object? What can you do right now/today/this week to inch closer to your dream life? Let's make it happen!

I'm fired up! The sky can't hold me! Want to join me? Let's go!

a love story in 52 seconds

I just attended the Central Coast Writer's Conference, and this was one of the highlights: a love story in fifty-two seconds. Enjoy.

good news network

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I love new beginnings: new years, birthdays, and the start of a new school year. My husband teaches, and my daughters are both going to "school" this fall, so there is a palpable excitement in our house about the new chapter beginning soon. (School starts on Monday.)

If you're in need of a pick-me-up, and the usual bad-news news is bringing you down, I've found the Good News Network to be a great source of good deeds and happy events.

Here's a rundown of some recent happenings:

- Why 100 Black Men In Suits Were Cheering by a School Bus 

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- Mexico Asked Graffiti Artists To Paint An Entire Town – Joy Was the Result

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- He Hauls His Upright Piano to Beaches and Parks Just to Make Your Day

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-  Quiet Time Program Brings Radical Improvement To Schools Worldwide

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It's nice to be reminded that the world is a good place.

48 days with téa

It's strange to think that my little girl has only been alive (in the outside world) for 48 days. She seems to be halfway between animal and human. One moment, she's all instinct and just wants to eat. The next, she'll look into my eyes like an intelligent being and break into the biggest smile. It melts my heart.

I'm finally coming to terms and making peace with not being a business owner anymore, and I feel lucky to be home with my baby and have grounded myself in my new life rather than wondering what my next job title will be. I have lots of ideas and projects rolling around in my mind, but my baby is growing so quickly (not to mention my 3-year-old!) that everything else can wait for now.

With my older daughter, I was working all the time from the moment she was born until not that long ago, and I don't want to make that mistake again with my second daughter. I know that this baby phase is over in a blink, and I don't want to miss it this time.

So, this is a super short post, but I have a little baby to go stare at and cuddle with... 

24 days with téa

It's a girl! I can now admit I secretly hoped for a second girl and was thrilled to have gotten one. My partner and I are hoping our girls will grow up close and potentially interested in many of the same things... And if that doesn't happen, at the very least, we can use the same clothes for our second daughter, and that's great, too.

So, I've been the mother of two girls for twenty-four days now, and it's interesting how different my partner and I are with our second child.

The main lesson we've learned is that newborns aren't that fragile after all, and we're way more relaxed about everything. Nursing is a way better experience now that I know what I'm doing and what to expect. And while the novelty of a new baby isn't the same as it was the first time, my partner and I are both deeply, madly in love with our new little one in the same overwhelming way we were with our first.

the next adventure

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It seems four years is my shelf life for a job/career. First, it was political science/international relations in Washington, DC, for college. Then, it was acting in L.A. Then, it was education for my Master's degree and teaching in a correctional facility in Boston. My students told me if I really wanted to make a difference in their lives, I should give them jobs. With a criminal record, they couldn't even get jobs bagging groceries; therefore, "selling drugs was their only option." Right.

So, I opened a coffee shop/bakery and because coffee is such a democratic industry, I ended up hiring plenty of formerly incarcerated and often very creative artist types to be baristas and bakers. Because I started the business with more of a nonprofit mentality, I never cut corners and have always given my team as much as I possibly could. I'm proud of what the shop serves, its customer service, and what it stands for, and I believe all businesses should have such integrity. Starting a business was the hardest thing I had done (until I became a parent).

Now, my little coffee shop is almost four years old, and with my (business) partner, we've also started a coffee roasting company. But, the clock is ticking, and it seems my time with both the coffee shop and the coffee roasting company is also coming to an end. My partner wanted more control, and I didn't want anything other than 50/50, so I am stepping down and leaving the business altogether. It's strange to think that once all of the loose ends are tied up, I will no longer be a business owner. It's a huge mental shift, since I thought I would own this business for the rest of my life, and it never occurred to me that I could leave my "babies" to do anything else. But, it also feels right.

I'm due to have my second (human) baby in four days, my (life) partner and I are hoping to go to Europe for his sabbatical year, and I just won't be that useful to the business as we move forward. So, tick tock, life keeps going, and we just have to adapt.

Now, I just have to figure out how I can be most useful as a human being. I just read Simplicity Parenting, and one lesson that really resonated with me (i.e., that I really needed) was the reminder to use words wisely. The filter the author describes is to make sure before you speak that what you say is true, kind, and necessary.

True? Bye bye, gossip, exaggeration and opinion posing as truth.

Kind? Everything can be communicated in at least twenty different ways. It takes a great person to be able to effectively and kindly communicate things that may not be as pleasant to hear, and the home is a great place to set an example of kindness as the default setting.

Necessary? In our clutter-filled world, will what we say be an improvement upon much needed silence? As a non-filterer, this one may be my greatest challenge, but I wholeheartedly embrace it and will try my best.

So, as I venture forward, starting over professionally yet again (still hoping for the One, rather than a four-year fling), I'll at least try to do so using words more carefully.

Kind. True. Necessary.

Let's go.

10 things you should do every day to improve your life

Erik Barker has great life reminders, and this one is exactly the kind of post I'm referring to. Simple, to-the-point, and research-based tips for a better life. May we all foster better habits to enjoy better lives.

What 10 Things Should You Do Every Day To Improve Your Life?

10 things that scientific research shows can help improve your life.

1) Get out in nature

You probably seriously underestimate how important this is. (Actually, there’s research that says you do.) Being in nature reduces stress, makes you more creative, improves your memory and may even make you a better person.

pregnant and crying? this'll make you feel better...

I've been much more emotional with this second pregnancy, and I found this to be both hilarious and comforting. If you or someone you know is pregnant and weepy, here's a list of things that have made other pregnant women cry that might make you/them feel better.

Enjoy!

thankful

This doesn't all apply to me, but I like it. Enjoy. :-)

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siddhartha by herman hesse

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Life has a way of continuing to surprise me every day—just when I think I've seen it all, another curveball comes my way. So, it seemed a good time to revisit these two grounding chapters from Herman Hesse's Siddhartha. Enjoy. :-)


Awakening

As Siddhartha left the grove in which the Buddha, the Perfect One, remained, in which Govinda remained, he felt that he had also left his former life behind him in the grove. As he slowly went on his way, his head was full of this thought. He reflected deeply, until this feeling completely overwhelmed him and he reached a point where he recognized causes; for to recognize causes, it seemed to him, is to think, and through thought alone feelings become knowledge and are not lost, but become real and begin to mature.

Siddhartha reflected deeply as he went on his way. He realized that he was no longer a youth; he was now a man. He realized that something had left him, like the old skin a snake sheds. Something was no longer in him, something that had accompanied him right through his youth and was part of him: this was the desire to have teachers and to listen to their teachings. He had left the last teacher he had met, even he, the greatest and wisest teacher, the holiest, the Buddha. He had to leave him; he could not accept his teachings.