6 things the most productive people do every day

This is a super long post, but a super useful one.  Here's how to be more productive, starting right now!  From Barking Up the Wrong Tree.

6 Things The Most Productive People Do Every Day Jun 01, 2014 01:35 pm | Eric Barker Ever feel like you’re just not getting enough done? Know how many days per week you’re actually productive? About 3: People work an average of 45 hours a week; they consider about 17 of those hours to be unproductive (U.S.: 45 hours a week; 16 hours are considered unproductive). We could all be accomplishing a lot more — but then again, none of us wants to be a workaholic either. It’d be great to get tons done and have work/life balance. But how do we do that? I decided to get some answers. And who better to ask than Tim Ferriss, author of the international bestseller, The 4-Hour Workweek? (Tim’s blog is here and his podcast is here.) Below are six tips Tim offered, the science behind why they work, and insight from the most productive people around. 1) Manage Your Mood Most productivity systems act like we’re robots – they forget the enormous power of feelings. If you start the day calm it’s easy to get the right things done and focus. But when we wake up and the fray is already upon us — phone ringing, emails coming in, fire alarms going off — you spend the whole day reacting. This means you’re not in the driver’s seat working on your priorities, you’re responding to what gets thrown at you, important or not. Here’s Tim: I try to have the first 80 to 90 minutes of my day vary as little as possible. I think that a routine is necessary to feel in control and non-reactive, which reduces anxiety. It therefore also makes you more productive. Research shows how you start the day has an enormous effect on productivity and you procrastinate more when you’re in a bad mood. Studies demonstrate happiness increases productivity and makes you more successful. As Shawn Achor describes in his book The Happiness Advantage: …doctors put in a positive mood before making a diagnosis show almost three times more intelligence and creativity than doctors in a neutral state, and they make accurate diagnoses 19 percent faster. Optimistic salespeople outsell their pessimistic counterparts by 56 percent. Students primed to feel happy before taking math achievement tests far outperform their neutral peers. It turns out that our brains are literally hardwired to perform at their best not when they are negative or even neutral, but when they are positive. So think a little less about managing the work and a little more about managing your moods.  (For more on how to be happier, go here.) So what’s the first step to managing your mood after you wake up? 2) Don’t Check Email In The Morning To some people this is utter heresy. Many can’t imagine not waking up and immediately checking email or social media feeds.

your partner's optimism matters more than your own

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Your partner's optimism has a greater impact on your longevity than your own optimism, as discovered here.

Having an optimistic spouse predicted better mobility and fewer chronic illnesses over time, even above and beyond a person’s own level of optimism, according to a new University of Michigan study of 3,940 adults.

So, if your partner falls into the doldrums, you now have another reason to cheer them up-- your own health and well-being.

how people beat terminal cancer

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Even if you don't have terminal cancer or know anyone who does, this might be inspiring for you.

How people beat terminal cancer (what you could do to beat it if you had it):

1.  Radically changing your diet
2.  Taking control of your health
3.  Following your intuition
4.  Using herbs and supplements
5.  Releasing suppressed emotions
6.  Increasing positive emotions
7.  Embracing social support
8.  Deepening your spiritual connection
9.  Having strong reasons for living

More details here.

the magic of motherhood

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How appropriate for Mother's Day.  I know a couple that is deciding whether to keep or terminate an unplanned pregnancy, and I suddenly have all of these matronly things to say.

When I was twenty-four, I also had a boyfriend who wanted to get married and have babies, and it freaked me out.  I wanted freedom.  I wanted to travel.  I wanted to create a successful career.  I still had to grow up.  I wanted to be selfish for a little while longer.  I broke up with him and ran far, far away.

On the other hand, if you're with the man you want to spend your life with, and you know you want to have children with him eventually, then I'd also say it's never the perfect time to start a family.  You're never fully prepared to be a mother.  Your home is never ready.  Your work will most certainly suffer.  You won't get to sleep through one full night for almost three years (well, at least that's what it took me to get there, and I'm *just* getting there now, as my little one approaches her second birthday).  Your body will no longer belong to you.  In fact, nothing really belongs to you anymore-- but that's because you happily give everything to this little creature that invaded your life.

This little creature that you never believed was real, even as your belly grew larger and larger.  This little creature that you saw in the ultrasounds, moving around, that you could feel kicking inside your belly-- it all still seemed like this theoretical idea, until you heard its little cry after going through the most physically painful experience of your life.  Yet, after giving birth, you also felt like you were invincible, Godlike, and also humbled by the most amazing gift you ever received.

And more than anything, this tiny being, without a single word, completely changes how you see the world.  Everything else falls to the wayside, even the things you thought were so important-- all of the things you thought were sacred suddenly seem trivial next to this little helpless bundle of wriggles.

Freedom?  Why would you want freedom when you could be blessed with this amazing responsibility?  This little person who looks like you and your beloved is counting on you for her survival, and you want her to not only survive but thrive in this big world.  Nothing feels like a sacrifice; you simply want to give her everything you had and everything you never had.

Travel?  They may be fussy at times, but they are quite portable.  Traveling six thousand miles with a three-month-old?  No problem.  Just strap them on, nurse them a lot, and you're good to go.  Traveling nine thousand miles with a 22-month-old?  Also doable.  Just go on lots of escalators, find playgrounds wherever you can, and they'll have a blast.

For me, I always thought I was a loving person, but nothing prepares you for how much love your baby will inspire in you.  Your heart swells to what feels like you're encompassing the entire ocean, the entire world, and you're so full of love, it hurts-- but in the best way possible.  You're vulnerable at every moment, but every moment is huge, electrical, like that feeling when you first fell in love.

So, I still don't have a successful career, I struggle every day with being a more patient and loving mother, and I'm still a long ways from my ideal, but I now see my life through a completely different lens.  I'm not going to be one of those parents that defines myself through my children, pushing them to win science awards when they're three years old, but my life has so much more meaning now that I know I am leaving a legacy behind.  I have to be on every second, watching what I say, how I react, what example I'm setting.

Being a mom makes me a better person, it makes my husband and me delve into the questions we may not have given time or thought to if we weren't parents, and it makes us live our lives more mindfully, with an eye on the future we're creating for ourselves and for our daughter.

And even with a life full of everything I could have dreamed of-- a loving husband, world travel, fancy schools, incredible work experiences, great friends, etc.-- nothing even comes close to having a baby.

She is quite simply the best thing that ever happened to me.

bye bye, stress...

Summer is approaching, and we're supposed to be excited.  In case you're still catching up with a never-ending To Do list and scraping your way through a mountain of paperwork like I am, here is some reassurance.  My favorite discovery was the 85% of the stuff we worry about never happens.

Like Mark Twain says, "Worrying is like paying a debt you don't owe."

Oh, and I now have scientific evidence to support getting more massages.

So, cheers to a happier, less stressful May ahead!

walking improves creativity

This recent Stanford study found that walking stimulated more creative thinking.  They compared every variation of people walking and not walking, from people on a treadmill facing a blank wall to people being pushed in a wheelchair outside, initially hypothesizing that being outdoors in nature would be the variable that made the difference.  Instead, the people walking on a treadmill facing a blank wall performed better.  So, if you're feeling stuck in a rut, get moving...

motherhood

Happy May!  In honor of all the moms, here's an infographic on motherhood.  Enjoy!

the science of raising happy children

Here are some interesting findings on raising happy children that could probably apply to adults, too. 

mommy, somebody needs you

This is one of the nicest blog posts I've read, and I hope it resonates with you as it did for me.  For all of the parents out there who can relate to feeling completely drained and frazzled sometimes, here is some solace.

“Mommy, Somebody Needs You."

by Megan Minneman Morton

Ever since we brought our new daughter home, her older brothers have been the first to tell me when she is crying, whimpering, or smelling a little suspicious.  “Somebody needs you,” they say.  I have no idea how this little saying started, but at first it sort of annoyed me.  I could be enjoying a quick shower… “Mommy, somebody needs you.  The baby is crying.”  Or, sitting down for a second, quite aware that the baby was beginning to stir from a nap…. “Mama, somebody needs you!”  Okay!  I get it already!  And not to mention that the newborn’s needs pale in comparison to the needs of 2 little boys.  Somebody always needs a snack, a band-aid, a different sock, ice cubes in their water, a NEW Paw Patrol, a stream of snot wiped, a hug, a story, a kiss.  Some days never seem to end, and the monotony of being “needed” can really take its toll. Then, it all started to hit me, they need ME.  Not anybody else.  Not a single other person in the whole world.  They need their Mommy.

The sooner I can accept that being Mommy means that I never go off the clock, the sooner I can find peace in this crazy stage of life.   That ‘Mommy’ is my duty, privilege and honor. I am ready to be there when somebody needs me, all day and all night.  Mommy means I just put the baby back down after her 4am feeding when a 3-year-old has a nightmare.  Mommy means I am surviving on coffee and toddler leftovers.  Mommy means my husband and I haven’t had a real conversation in weeks.  Mommy means I put their needs before my own, without a thought.  Mommy means that my body is full of aches and my heart is full of love.

I am sure there will come a day when no one needs me.  My babies will all be long gone and consumed with their own lives.  I may sit alone in some assisted living facility watching my body fade away.  No one will need me then.  I may even be a burden.  Sure, they will come visit, but my arms will no longer be their home.  My kisses no longer their cure.  There will be no more tiny boots to wipe the slush from or seat belts to be buckled.  I will have read my last bedtime story, 7 times in a row.  I will no longer enforce time outs.  There will be no more bags to pack and unpack or snack cups to fill.  I am sure my heart will yearn to hear those tiny voices calling out to me, “Mommy, somebody needs you!”

So for now, I find beauty in the peaceful 4am feedings in our cozy little nursery.  We are perched above the naked oak trees in our own lavender nest.  We watch the silent snow fall and a bunny scampering across its perfect white canvas.  It’s just me and my little baby, the neighborhood is dark and still.  We alone are up to watch the pale moon rise and the shadows dance along the nursery wall.  She and I are the only ones to hear the barn owl hooting in the distance.  We snuggle together under a blanket and I rock her back to sleep.  It’s 4am and I am exhausted and frustrated, but it’s okay, she needs me.  Just me.  And maybe, I need her too.  Because she makes me Mommy.  Some day she will sleep through the night.  Some day I will sit in my wheelchair, my arms empty, dreaming of those quiet nights in the nursery.  When she needed me and we were the only two people in the world.

Can I enjoy being needed?  Sometimes, sure, but often it is tiring.  Exhausting.  But, it isn’t meant to be enjoyed every moment.  It is a duty.  God made me their Mom.  It is a position I yearned for long before I would ever understand it.  Over a 3 day weekend my husband couldn’t believe how many times our boys kept saying, “Mommy.  Mommy.  Mommy”!  “Are they always like this?” he asked not able to hide his terror, and sympathy.  “Yep.  All day, everyday.  That’s my job.”  And I have to admit that it is the toughest job I have ever had.  In a previous life I was a restaurant manager for a high volume and very popular chain in Palm Beach Gardens, Florida.  A Saturday night at 7:30pm with the expo window overflowing with dishes, a 2 hour wait, and the electricity inexplicably going out has got nothing on a Tuesday, 5:00pm at the Morton house.  And let me tell ya, South Florida diners are some of the toughest to please.  But, they are a cake walk compared to sleep-deprived toddlers with low blood sugar.

Once upon a time, I had time.  For myself.  Now, my toe nails need some love.  My bra fits a little differently.  My curling iron might not even work anymore, I don’t know.  I can’t take a shower without an audience.  I’ve started using eye cream.  I don’t get carded any more.  My proof of motherhood.  Proof that somebody needs me.  That right now, somebody always needs me.  Like last night…

At 3am I hear the little footsteps entering my room.  I lay still, barely breathing.  Maybe he will retreat to his room.  Yeah right.

“Mommy.”

“Mommy.”  A little louder.

“Yes”.  I barely whisper.

He pauses, his giant eyes flashing in the dim light.

“I love you.”

And just like that, he is gone.  Scampered back to his room.  But, his words still hang in the cool night air.  If I could reach out and snatch them, I would grab his words and hug them to my chest.  His soft voice whispering the best sentence in the world.  I love you.  A smile curls across my lips and I slowly exhale, almost afraid to blow the memory away.  I drift back to sleep and let his words settle into my heart.

One day that little boy will be a big man.  There will no longer be any sweet words whispered to me in the wee hours.  Just the whir of the sound machine and the snoring husband.  I will sleep peacefully through the night, never a worry of a sick child or a crying baby.  It will be but a memory.  These years of being needed are exhausting, yet fleeting.  I have to stop dreaming of “one day” when things will be easier.  Because, the truth is, it may get easier, but it will never be better than today.  Today, when I am covered in toddler snot and spit up.  Today, when I savor those chubby little arms around my neck.  Today is perfect.  ”One day” I will get pedicures and showers alone.  ”One day” I will get myself back.  But, today I give myself away, and I am tired, and dirty and loved SO much, and I gotta go.  Somebody needs me.

the science of happy relationships

Just in time for Valentine's Day or just because it's good to have healthy, happy relationships, here is an interesting collection of factoids for you.  Here's to happy, healthy, long-lasting love!