getting pregnant is hard

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To clarify, *I* am not trying to get pregnant. We are done/shop is closed/that ship has sailed (for us)/we are happy with two.

But my friends are discussing when to start trying to get pregnant, and I suddenly remembered when my partner and I were first trying. Prior to this, we thought if we didn't use some kind of protection, we'd be zapped by pregnancy immediately. Ha!

I want to set some things straight, and I hope this can help someone out there feel more prepared. Knowledge is power, so let's get powerful.

1. It's not that easy to get pregnant.

There is basically this teeny tiny window of a few days each month where pregnancy is even possible, and some months, nothing will happen for no obvious reason at all. It's supposed to take up to a year for healthy couples to get pregnant, which means (for the non-math-inclined) there are eleven months of not getting pregnant without any causes other than chance.

48 days with téa

It's strange to think that my little girl has only been alive (in the outside world) for 48 days. She seems to be halfway between animal and human. One moment, she's all instinct and just wants to eat. The next, she'll look into my eyes like an intelligent being and break into the biggest smile. It melts my heart.

I'm finally coming to terms and making peace with not being a business owner anymore, and I feel lucky to be home with my baby and have grounded myself in my new life rather than wondering what my next job title will be. I have lots of ideas and projects rolling around in my mind, but my baby is growing so quickly (not to mention my 3-year-old!) that everything else can wait for now.

With my older daughter, I was working all the time from the moment she was born until not that long ago, and I don't want to make that mistake again with my second daughter. I know that this baby phase is over in a blink, and I don't want to miss it this time.

So, this is a super short post, but I have a little baby to go stare at and cuddle with... 

24 days with téa

It's a girl! I can now admit I secretly hoped for a second girl and was thrilled to have gotten one. My partner and I are hoping our girls will grow up close and potentially interested in many of the same things... And if that doesn't happen, at the very least, we can use the same clothes for our second daughter, and that's great, too.

So, I've been the mother of two girls for twenty-four days now, and it's interesting how different my partner and I are with our second child.

The main lesson we've learned is that newborns aren't that fragile after all, and we're way more relaxed about everything. Nursing is a way better experience now that I know what I'm doing and what to expect. And while the novelty of a new baby isn't the same as it was the first time, my partner and I are both deeply, madly in love with our new little one in the same overwhelming way we were with our first.

the next adventure

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It seems four years is my shelf life for a job/career. First, it was political science/international relations in Washington, DC, for college. Then, it was acting in L.A. Then, it was education for my Master's degree and teaching in a correctional facility in Boston. My students told me if I really wanted to make a difference in their lives, I should give them jobs. With a criminal record, they couldn't even get jobs bagging groceries; therefore, "selling drugs was their only option." Right.

So, I opened a coffee shop/bakery and because coffee is such a democratic industry, I ended up hiring plenty of formerly incarcerated and often very creative artist types to be baristas and bakers. Because I started the business with more of a nonprofit mentality, I never cut corners and have always given my team as much as I possibly could. I'm proud of what the shop serves, its customer service, and what it stands for, and I believe all businesses should have such integrity. Starting a business was the hardest thing I had done (until I became a parent).

Now, my little coffee shop is almost four years old, and with my (business) partner, we've also started a coffee roasting company. But, the clock is ticking, and it seems my time with both the coffee shop and the coffee roasting company is also coming to an end. My partner wanted more control, and I didn't want anything other than 50/50, so I am stepping down and leaving the business altogether. It's strange to think that once all of the loose ends are tied up, I will no longer be a business owner. It's a huge mental shift, since I thought I would own this business for the rest of my life, and it never occurred to me that I could leave my "babies" to do anything else. But, it also feels right.

I'm due to have my second (human) baby in four days, my (life) partner and I are hoping to go to Europe for his sabbatical year, and I just won't be that useful to the business as we move forward. So, tick tock, life keeps going, and we just have to adapt.

Now, I just have to figure out how I can be most useful as a human being. I just read Simplicity Parenting, and one lesson that really resonated with me (i.e., that I really needed) was the reminder to use words wisely. The filter the author describes is to make sure before you speak that what you say is true, kind, and necessary.

True? Bye bye, gossip, exaggeration and opinion posing as truth.

Kind? Everything can be communicated in at least twenty different ways. It takes a great person to be able to effectively and kindly communicate things that may not be as pleasant to hear, and the home is a great place to set an example of kindness as the default setting.

Necessary? In our clutter-filled world, will what we say be an improvement upon much needed silence? As a non-filterer, this one may be my greatest challenge, but I wholeheartedly embrace it and will try my best.

So, as I venture forward, starting over professionally yet again (still hoping for the One, rather than a four-year fling), I'll at least try to do so using words more carefully.

Kind. True. Necessary.

Let's go.

pregnant and crying? this'll make you feel better...

I've been much more emotional with this second pregnancy, and I found this to be both hilarious and comforting. If you or someone you know is pregnant and weepy, here's a list of things that have made other pregnant women cry that might make you/them feel better.

Enjoy!

crappy pictures

For every mom who has been up all night nursing a little one, enjoy!

WHAT IT IS LIKE TO (NOT) SLEEP AT NIGHT – ILLUSTRATED WITH CRAPPY PICTURES™

JUNE 9, 2011 COMMENTS (869)

INTRO: Here is installment #2 in my “real life parenting” series.  I draw crappy pictures because I don’t have actual photos of these experiences.  Here goes…

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I’ve always been jealous of my husband’s ability to fall asleep and stay asleep. It isn’t his fault that he is a deep sleeper.  But I can’t help it.  It totally pisses me off.

We climb in bed at 9:00PM…

By 9:03 my husband is completely asleep.

I’m nursing my youngest and haven’t even begun to think about sleeping yet.  I lay there motionless, pretending to be calm and relaxed so he’ll fall asleep. Anyway, I’m cold since the blankets aren’t on my top half.

happy dads

Happy Father's Day weekend!  Here's some information showing that fathers seem happier and healthier than men without kids:

Infographic: What You Need to Know About Dads and Happiness

the magic of motherhood

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How appropriate for Mother's Day.  I know a couple that is deciding whether to keep or terminate an unplanned pregnancy, and I suddenly have all of these matronly things to say.

When I was twenty-four, I also had a boyfriend who wanted to get married and have babies, and it freaked me out.  I wanted freedom.  I wanted to travel.  I wanted to create a successful career.  I still had to grow up.  I wanted to be selfish for a little while longer.  I broke up with him and ran far, far away.

On the other hand, if you're with the man you want to spend your life with, and you know you want to have children with him eventually, then I'd also say it's never the perfect time to start a family.  You're never fully prepared to be a mother.  Your home is never ready.  Your work will most certainly suffer.  You won't get to sleep through one full night for almost three years (well, at least that's what it took me to get there, and I'm *just* getting there now, as my little one approaches her second birthday).  Your body will no longer belong to you.  In fact, nothing really belongs to you anymore-- but that's because you happily give everything to this little creature that invaded your life.

This little creature that you never believed was real, even as your belly grew larger and larger.  This little creature that you saw in the ultrasounds, moving around, that you could feel kicking inside your belly-- it all still seemed like this theoretical idea, until you heard its little cry after going through the most physically painful experience of your life.  Yet, after giving birth, you also felt like you were invincible, Godlike, and also humbled by the most amazing gift you ever received.

And more than anything, this tiny being, without a single word, completely changes how you see the world.  Everything else falls to the wayside, even the things you thought were so important-- all of the things you thought were sacred suddenly seem trivial next to this little helpless bundle of wriggles.

Freedom?  Why would you want freedom when you could be blessed with this amazing responsibility?  This little person who looks like you and your beloved is counting on you for her survival, and you want her to not only survive but thrive in this big world.  Nothing feels like a sacrifice; you simply want to give her everything you had and everything you never had.

Travel?  They may be fussy at times, but they are quite portable.  Traveling six thousand miles with a three-month-old?  No problem.  Just strap them on, nurse them a lot, and you're good to go.  Traveling nine thousand miles with a 22-month-old?  Also doable.  Just go on lots of escalators, find playgrounds wherever you can, and they'll have a blast.

For me, I always thought I was a loving person, but nothing prepares you for how much love your baby will inspire in you.  Your heart swells to what feels like you're encompassing the entire ocean, the entire world, and you're so full of love, it hurts-- but in the best way possible.  You're vulnerable at every moment, but every moment is huge, electrical, like that feeling when you first fell in love.

So, I still don't have a successful career, I struggle every day with being a more patient and loving mother, and I'm still a long ways from my ideal, but I now see my life through a completely different lens.  I'm not going to be one of those parents that defines myself through my children, pushing them to win science awards when they're three years old, but my life has so much more meaning now that I know I am leaving a legacy behind.  I have to be on every second, watching what I say, how I react, what example I'm setting.

Being a mom makes me a better person, it makes my husband and me delve into the questions we may not have given time or thought to if we weren't parents, and it makes us live our lives more mindfully, with an eye on the future we're creating for ourselves and for our daughter.

And even with a life full of everything I could have dreamed of-- a loving husband, world travel, fancy schools, incredible work experiences, great friends, etc.-- nothing even comes close to having a baby.

She is quite simply the best thing that ever happened to me.

motherhood

Happy May!  In honor of all the moms, here's an infographic on motherhood.  Enjoy!

mommy, somebody needs you

This is one of the nicest blog posts I've read, and I hope it resonates with you as it did for me.  For all of the parents out there who can relate to feeling completely drained and frazzled sometimes, here is some solace.

“Mommy, Somebody Needs You."

by Megan Minneman Morton

Ever since we brought our new daughter home, her older brothers have been the first to tell me when she is crying, whimpering, or smelling a little suspicious.  “Somebody needs you,” they say.  I have no idea how this little saying started, but at first it sort of annoyed me.  I could be enjoying a quick shower… “Mommy, somebody needs you.  The baby is crying.”  Or, sitting down for a second, quite aware that the baby was beginning to stir from a nap…. “Mama, somebody needs you!”  Okay!  I get it already!  And not to mention that the newborn’s needs pale in comparison to the needs of 2 little boys.  Somebody always needs a snack, a band-aid, a different sock, ice cubes in their water, a NEW Paw Patrol, a stream of snot wiped, a hug, a story, a kiss.  Some days never seem to end, and the monotony of being “needed” can really take its toll. Then, it all started to hit me, they need ME.  Not anybody else.  Not a single other person in the whole world.  They need their Mommy.

The sooner I can accept that being Mommy means that I never go off the clock, the sooner I can find peace in this crazy stage of life.   That ‘Mommy’ is my duty, privilege and honor. I am ready to be there when somebody needs me, all day and all night.  Mommy means I just put the baby back down after her 4am feeding when a 3-year-old has a nightmare.  Mommy means I am surviving on coffee and toddler leftovers.  Mommy means my husband and I haven’t had a real conversation in weeks.  Mommy means I put their needs before my own, without a thought.  Mommy means that my body is full of aches and my heart is full of love.

I am sure there will come a day when no one needs me.  My babies will all be long gone and consumed with their own lives.  I may sit alone in some assisted living facility watching my body fade away.  No one will need me then.  I may even be a burden.  Sure, they will come visit, but my arms will no longer be their home.  My kisses no longer their cure.  There will be no more tiny boots to wipe the slush from or seat belts to be buckled.  I will have read my last bedtime story, 7 times in a row.  I will no longer enforce time outs.  There will be no more bags to pack and unpack or snack cups to fill.  I am sure my heart will yearn to hear those tiny voices calling out to me, “Mommy, somebody needs you!”

So for now, I find beauty in the peaceful 4am feedings in our cozy little nursery.  We are perched above the naked oak trees in our own lavender nest.  We watch the silent snow fall and a bunny scampering across its perfect white canvas.  It’s just me and my little baby, the neighborhood is dark and still.  We alone are up to watch the pale moon rise and the shadows dance along the nursery wall.  She and I are the only ones to hear the barn owl hooting in the distance.  We snuggle together under a blanket and I rock her back to sleep.  It’s 4am and I am exhausted and frustrated, but it’s okay, she needs me.  Just me.  And maybe, I need her too.  Because she makes me Mommy.  Some day she will sleep through the night.  Some day I will sit in my wheelchair, my arms empty, dreaming of those quiet nights in the nursery.  When she needed me and we were the only two people in the world.

Can I enjoy being needed?  Sometimes, sure, but often it is tiring.  Exhausting.  But, it isn’t meant to be enjoyed every moment.  It is a duty.  God made me their Mom.  It is a position I yearned for long before I would ever understand it.  Over a 3 day weekend my husband couldn’t believe how many times our boys kept saying, “Mommy.  Mommy.  Mommy”!  “Are they always like this?” he asked not able to hide his terror, and sympathy.  “Yep.  All day, everyday.  That’s my job.”  And I have to admit that it is the toughest job I have ever had.  In a previous life I was a restaurant manager for a high volume and very popular chain in Palm Beach Gardens, Florida.  A Saturday night at 7:30pm with the expo window overflowing with dishes, a 2 hour wait, and the electricity inexplicably going out has got nothing on a Tuesday, 5:00pm at the Morton house.  And let me tell ya, South Florida diners are some of the toughest to please.  But, they are a cake walk compared to sleep-deprived toddlers with low blood sugar.

Once upon a time, I had time.  For myself.  Now, my toe nails need some love.  My bra fits a little differently.  My curling iron might not even work anymore, I don’t know.  I can’t take a shower without an audience.  I’ve started using eye cream.  I don’t get carded any more.  My proof of motherhood.  Proof that somebody needs me.  That right now, somebody always needs me.  Like last night…

At 3am I hear the little footsteps entering my room.  I lay still, barely breathing.  Maybe he will retreat to his room.  Yeah right.

“Mommy.”

“Mommy.”  A little louder.

“Yes”.  I barely whisper.

He pauses, his giant eyes flashing in the dim light.

“I love you.”

And just like that, he is gone.  Scampered back to his room.  But, his words still hang in the cool night air.  If I could reach out and snatch them, I would grab his words and hug them to my chest.  His soft voice whispering the best sentence in the world.  I love you.  A smile curls across my lips and I slowly exhale, almost afraid to blow the memory away.  I drift back to sleep and let his words settle into my heart.

One day that little boy will be a big man.  There will no longer be any sweet words whispered to me in the wee hours.  Just the whir of the sound machine and the snoring husband.  I will sleep peacefully through the night, never a worry of a sick child or a crying baby.  It will be but a memory.  These years of being needed are exhausting, yet fleeting.  I have to stop dreaming of “one day” when things will be easier.  Because, the truth is, it may get easier, but it will never be better than today.  Today, when I am covered in toddler snot and spit up.  Today, when I savor those chubby little arms around my neck.  Today is perfect.  ”One day” I will get pedicures and showers alone.  ”One day” I will get myself back.  But, today I give myself away, and I am tired, and dirty and loved SO much, and I gotta go.  Somebody needs me.

the science of happy relationships

Just in time for Valentine's Day or just because it's good to have healthy, happy relationships, here is an interesting collection of factoids for you.  Here's to happy, healthy, long-lasting love!

the opt-out generation

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The original "Opt Out Revolution" article appeared in the New York Times on October 26, 2003, and it described well-educated, high-powered women who decided to leave the fast track to focus on raising their children at home instead.  The media had a field day with it, trying to figure out whether they were wasting years of the feminist struggle for equality in the workplace or if it, as they claimed, was a new, more balanced version of feminism.

Fast forward ten years, and it sounds like "The Opt Out Generation Wants Back In" (New York Times, August 7th).  They were confident as they walked out in their suits and heels as lawyers with prestigious firms and so on, optimistic that it would be a temporary break from their upward trajectory, but for most women, it has been more challenging than they predicted to reenter the workforce after a hiatus.

It's interesting to consider this when you have a new little one (or one on the way): how will you structure your family?  Who will take care of the child(ren)?  Who will pay the bills?  How will you also make sure your romantic/adult relationships thrive?

It's interesting to note that while it was more of a struggle to find work after time away, it sounded like none of the women regretted their decision.  Further, while some tried to return to their former fields (and usually took lower-level positions and lower pay), most of the women ended up going into more "nurturing" fields, such as education or the nonprofit sector-- and they were happier and felt more balanced.

I thought these articles were a nice reminder to not get too caught up in the rat race, to slow down and look clearly at the price we pay for success, and then to choose our forward movement with our values and priorities in mind-- but to also not be too idealistic and realize that when we choose what's important, other things will likely fall by the wayside.

And I guess that is the key.  We have such limited time in our quickly passing days, months and years, we have one shot at getting our children's childhoods right (no pressure), so we have to make sure we're actively choosing what we do with our time (and actively choosing what falls by the wayside).  We can define our own version of success and happiness and make that life a reality.

real conversations with a two-year-old as reenacted by a full-grown man

Hope you're having a great summer so far.  Here's a little video that I thought was pretty fun.  Enjoy!

drowning doesn't look like drowning

I just came across this article on Slate and thought it was really informative.  As summer approaches, let's hope being informed keeps us and our little loved ones safe.

A lifeguard keeps watch on opening day of the newly renovated McCarren Park Pool on June 28, 2012, in Brooklyn, New York.

Photo by Mario Tama/Getty Images

The new captain jumped from the deck, fully dressed, and sprinted through the water. A former lifeguard, he kept his eyes on his victim as he headed straight for the couple swimming between their anchored sportfisher and the beach. “I think he thinks you’re drowning,” the husband said to his wife. They had been splashing each other and she had screamed but now they were just standing, neck-deep on the sand bar. “We’re fine; what is he doing?” she asked, a little annoyed. “We’re fine!” the husband yelled, waving him off, but his captain kept swimming hard. ”Move!” he barked as he sprinted between the stunned owners. Directly behind them, not 10 feet away, their 9-year-old daughter was drowning. Safely above the surface in the arms of the captain, she burst into tears, “Daddy!”

How did this captain know—from 50 feet away—what the father couldn’t recognize from just 10? Drowning is not the violent, splashing call for help that most people expect. The captain was trained to recognize drowning by experts and years of experience. The father, on the other hand, had learned what drowning looks like by watching television. If you spend time on or near the water (hint: that’s all of us) then you should make sure that you and your crew know what to look for whenever people enter the water. Until she cried a tearful, “Daddy,” she hadn’t made a sound. As a former Coast Guard rescue swimmer, I wasn’t surprised at all by this story. Drowning is almost always a deceptively quiet event. The waving, splashing, and yelling that dramatic conditioning (television) prepares us to look for is rarely seen in real life.

9 months

Nine months for my inside baby to grow from the size of a sesame seed to the size of a watermelon, and now, nine months of my outside baby growing from fitting on papa's forearm to being almost half as long as I am.  I am still amazed at how quickly they grow, how quickly they change, and how quickly the months fly by.

Blink, and you miss things.

I now understand why parents always think their kids are smart.  When they first come into the world, babies are completely useless.  They can't even hold their heads up.  So, in contrast, when they learn to roll over or babble, you think your little one is a genius.  It's even a developmental milestone when they look for something they dropped.  Way to go!

six months of motherhood

There is a near-impossible standard that women should be able to be the kind, nurturing and ever-patient (and always available) mothers while also donning the pants and running corporations-- nay, countries!-- as fierce, inspirational squadron leaders.  And that doesn't even begin to take into consideration the age-old stereotypical conundrum of women as virginal, saintly icons to be revered versus women as sexual, liberated temptresses to be desired and feared.

25 rules for mothers of daughters

I came across this lovely list recently and thought it was sweet.  Enjoy!


25 Rules for Mothers of Daughters

Source: Pinterest- meggielynne.tumblr.com

1. Paint her nails. Then let her scratch it off and dirty them up. Teach her to care about her appearance, and then quickly remind her that living and having fun is most important.

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Source: Pinterest:  art-e-zine.co.uk

2. Let her put on your makeup, even if it means bright-red-smudged lips and streaked-blue eyes. Let her experiment in her attempts to be like you…then let her be herself.

Source: Pinterest: sp2.fotolog.com

3. Let her be wild. She may want to stay home and read books on the couch, or she may want to hop on the back of a motorcycle-gasp. She may be a homebody or a traveler. She may fall in love with the wrong boy, or meet mr. right at age 5. Try to remember that you were her age once. Everyone makes mistakes, let her make her own.

4. Be present. Be there for her at her Kindergarten performances, her dance recitals, her soccer games…her everyday-little-moments. When she looks through the crowds of people, she will be looking for your smile and pride. Show it to her as often as possible.

Source: Pinterest: crazycraftycousins.blogspot.com

5. Encourage her to try on your shoes and play dress-up. If she would rather wear her brother’s superman cape with high heals, allow it. If she wants to wear a tutu or dinosaur costume to the grocery store, why stop her? She needs to decide who she is and be confident in her decision.


6. Teach her to be independent. Show her by example that woman can be strong. Find and follow your own passions. Search for outlets of expression and enjoyment for yourself- not just your husband or children.  Define yourself by your own attributes, not by what others expect you to be. Know who you are as a person, and help your daughter find out who she is.

Source: Pinterest: flickr.com

 7. Pick flowers with her. Put them in her hair. There is nothing more beautiful than a girl and a flower.

Source: Pinterest- 500px.com

8. Let her get messy. Get messy with her, no matter how much it makes you cringe inside. Splash in the puddles, throw snowballs, make mud pies, finger paint the walls: just let it happen. The most wonderful of memories are often the messy ones.

9. Give her good role models- you being one of them. Introduce her to successful woman- friends, co-workers, doctors, astronauts, or authors.  Read to her about influential woman- Eleanor Roosevelt, Rosa Parks, Marie Curie. Read her the words of inspirational woman- Jane Austen, Sylvia Plath, Emily Dickinson. She should know that anything is possible.

 Source: Pinterest- google.com

10. Show her affection. Daughters will mimic the compassion of their mother. “I love yous” and Eskimo kisses go a long way.

11. Hold her hand. Whether she is 3 years-old in the parking lot or sixteen years old in the mall, hold on to her always- this will teach her to be confident in herself and proud of her family.

Source: Pinterest- weheartit.com

12. Believe in her. It is the moments that she does not believe in herself that she will need you to believe enough for both of you. Whether it is a spelling test in the first grade, a big game or recital, a first date, or the first day of college…remind her of the independent and capable woman you have taught her to be.

Source: Pinterest-  weddings.halbergphotographers.com

13. Tell her how beautiful she is. Whether it is her first day of Kindergarten, immediately after a soccer game where she is grass-stained and sweaty, or her wedding day. She needs your reminders. She needs your pride. She needs your reassurance. She is only human.

14. Love her father. Teach her to love a good man, like him. One who lets her be herself…she is after all wonderful.

Source: Pinterest- blog.hgtv.com

15. Make forts with boxes and blankets. Help her to find magic in the ordinary, to imagine, to create and to believe in fairy tales. Someday she will make her 5 by 5 dorm-room her home with magic touches and inspiration. And she will fall in love with a boy and believe him to be Prince Charming.

16. Read to her. Read her Dr. Seuss and Eric Carle. But also remember the power of Sylvia Plath and Robert Frost. Show her the beauty of words on a page and let her see you enjoy them. Words can be simply written and simply spoken, yet can harvest so much meaning. Help her to find their meaning.

Source: Pinterest-  instagr.am

17. Teach her how to love- with passion and kisses. Love her passionately. Love her father passionately and her siblings passionately. Express your love. Show her how to love with no restraint. Let her get her heart broken and try again. Let her cry, and gush, giggle and scream. She will love like you love or hate like you hate. So, choose love for both you and her.

18. Encourage her to dance and sing. Dance and sing with her- even if it sounds or looks horrible.  Let her wiggle to nursery rhymes. Let her dance on her daddy's feet and spin in your arms. Then later, let her blast noise and headbang in her bedroom with her door shut if she wants. Or karaoke to Tom Petty in the living room if she would rather. Introduce her to the classics- like The Beatles- and listen to her latest favorite- like Taylor Swift. Share the magic of music together, it will bring you closer- or at least create a soundtrack to your life together.

Source: Pinterest- thehollywoodgossip.com

19. Share secrets together. Communicate. Talk. Talk about anything. Let her tell you about boys, friends, school. Listen. Ask questions. Share dreams, hopes, concerns. She is not only your daughter, you are not only her mother. Be her friend too.

20. Teach her manners. Because sometimes you have to be her mother, not just her friend. The world is a happier place when made up of polite words and smiles.

21. Teach her when to stand-up and when to walk away. Whether she has classmates who tease her because of her glasses, or a boyfriend who tells her she is too fat- let her know she does not have to listen. Make sure she knows how to demand respect- she is worthy of it. It does not mean she has to fight back with fists or words, because sometimes you say more with silence. Also make sure she knows which battles are worth fighting. Remind her that some people can be mean and nasty because of jealousy, or other personal reasons. Help her to understand when to shut her mouth and walk-away. Teach her to be the bigger -the better- person.

22. Let her choose who she loves. Even when you see through the charming boy she thinks he is, let her love him without your disapproving words: she will anyway. When he breaks her heart, be there for her with words of support rather than I told-you-so. Let her mess up again and again until she finds the one. And when she finds the one, tell her.

Source: Pinterest- justquotes.org

23. Mother her. Being a mother—to her—is undoubtedly one of your greatest accomplishments. Share with her the joys of motherhood, so one day she will want to be a mother too. Remind her over and over again with words and kisses that no one will ever love her like you love her. No one can replace or replicate a mother’s love for their children.

Source: Pinterest- marrabelle.deviantart.com

24. Comfort her. Because sometimes you just need your mommy. When she is sick, rub her back, make her soup and cover her in blankets- no matter how old she is. Someday, if she is giving birth to her own child, push her hair out of her face, encourage her, and tell her how beautiful she is. These are the moments she will remember you for. And someday when her husband rubs her back in attempt to comfort her...she may just whisper, "I need my mommy."

25. Be home. When she is sick with a cold or broken heart, she will come to you: welcome her. When she is engaged or pregnant, she will run to you to share her news: embrace her. When she is lost or confused, she will search for you: find her. When she needs advice on boys, schools, friends or an outfit: tell her. She is your daughter and will always need a safe harbor- where she can turn a key to see comforting eyes and a familiar smile: be home. 

52 days of motherhood

I've been a mother for fifty-two days now, and I want to remember this time, as every day feels momentous in some small way.  Today, for example, my baby girl started sucking on her hand.  This is both good and bad.  The good: it means I won't have to be her human pacifier anymore.  The bad: well, it isn't particularly attractive, for one.  She hasn't figured out how to suck her thumb or fingers, so she tries to jam her entire fist into her mouth.  But also, I don't get to be her human pacifier anymore.  And because I read this beautifully written piece, I can see how that could be seen as a loss.

I am not a warm human substitute for a cold silicone and plastic doohickey. 

ha ha ha

That's nature laughing at me.  I was CERTAIN I'd have my baby early, and here I am, five days late, with absolutely no signs of labor at all.  I was told if you were working hard and on your feet all day, you would go early.  Well, I guess I wasn't working quite as hard as I thought.

They say parenting is the most humbling challenge one can undertake.  You have all of these noble and lofty ideals, and your little one, with their own personality and ideas, just laughs at you as you fumble your way through parenthood.  So, even in utero, my little one laughs at me.  To think I thought I'd be a mom by the end of April-- and now, we're approaching June.

So, we learn a little more humility and patience.  Good practice for what's to come.