15 March 2020

coronavirus as blessing?



My friend, Vernie, used to always say what our overpopulated world really needs is a new plague that can indiscriminately take out a big chunk of the world's population, and while the coronavirus isn't that, I do think there is a silver lining to this cloud.

Obviously, I don't want innocent people dying or even feeling sick. I don't want to see people I love freaking out and buying hazmat suits because they're so scared of what could happen. My heart goes out to the people who are really stressed about schools closing and wondering how their kids who depend on the free lunches are going to eat— not to mention how they're going to work and make sure their family is both safe and also that all of the bills will be paid.

And yes, it's stressful to go shopping and find that Costco is out of toilet paper and Trader Joe's is out of eggs, and you end up buying a case of bottled water even though your fridge has water because everyone else has carts filled with them. The stress is palpable and heavy, spiking and charging the very air we share, everywhere we go now.

It's hard to wrap our heads around all of the schools being closed and basically everything "normal" being canceled. My daughters' school will be closed for at least a month. My husband's work has given everyone two weeks off for spring break, and everything will happen remotely the two weeks after that. So, that's a month for him to be home, too.

This weekend, my daughter didn't attend Girl Scouts or a birthday pool party. My husband and I skipped a wine tasting party, and I was going to miss my acting class— until it was canceled.

We're canceling our spring break trip to Mexico to explore ruins with cousins and siblings. We're canceling our summer plans to go to Taiwan so my daughters can learn Chinese. I love travel and am sad to let those adventures go, but I also recognize how lucky I am to be "stuck" somewhere pretty nice and continue to strive to find the bright side of all this.

So, as we grapple to find our new normal, here is something to consider.

What if the world's problem is not coronavirus? What if our collective ailment is our competitive go-go-go mentality that has left everyone feeling increasingly isolated and stressed? What if the coronavirus and our now enforced quarantine is the solution?

I know this will not be a popular opinion, but I think maybe staying home and slowing down is just what we all need.

Maybe we were so pigheaded about going forward forward forward (or what we perceived to be forward), unable to even consider slowing down, that it took something as crazy as COVID-19 to literally knock the wind out of us, grabbing both of our arms and stapling us to the floor, to force us to snap out of our whirlwind lives and STOP for a second to look around and consider our lives.

I can imagine someone rising from the dust of being thrown to the ground, shaking their head in a daze as they look around, like Dorothy waking up in Oz. Except this is our real life that we maybe allowed to go on autopilot for too long.

How did I get here? Is this the life I want? Am I giving the world all that I can? Am I on the path that best serves me and my family? Am I pushing myself in the best ways-- growing, contributing, leaving a lasting positive impact on our collective world?

Maybe the coronavirus is actually a wake-up call to live our lives more fully.

If you're an adult, is this the grown-up life you'd dreamed of living when you were a kid?

If you're a parent, I can imagine the dazed head shaking and saying, "Wow, my daughter/son is how old now?" It can almost bring me to tears when I think of my young children— weren't they just babies a second ago? Where has the time gone? Have I done enough and loved them enough as a mama? What if the rest of their childhood passes in a blur, and I miss it? I can't let that happen!

If you're an even more mature adult, have you used your decades on this planet to serve humanity, gather wisdom, and share love and kindness to all? (Because you know, all people are supposed to have done that by the time they're old, right?)

We have more control than we think, and we can all live lives that we want. It's not just a luxury for the ultra rich (who I have not perceived to be happier or more free).

Within our mundane everyday lives, we can find sparkling moments of joy and love and connection and meaning, but we have to create the space and time for them— and many of us don't seem to have even a nanosecond to stop and breathe. (Hi, parents of young children! Hi, entrepreneurs giving our sweat and blood to nothing more than an idea! Hi, caretakers devoting yourselves to someone else's every day quality of life! And everyone who is giving their all to the struggle that is everyday life! I see you!)

Enter: CORONAVIRUS.

Now, even the world's #1 workaholic has an excuse to just sit down for a second and look around. And that's a form of grace and forgiveness. We all get a break.

So, while not glamorous or exciting, my family is doing a deeper cleaning/organizing of our house today-- something we never have time for. All those random doodads (my girls' "art supplies") that have been stashed here and there are now going to be given proper homes or discarded.

We've been looking at recipes we've been meaning to try but haven't had time for.

My 4-year-old says we should snuggle and read stories all day, and for the first time, it's an idea that we could actually consider.

Of course, we haven't even gotten to day 1 of a month of no school, so ask me how I'm feeling again in a couple days, and I might be ready to drop kick my fighting, complaining kids to outer space, but in the meantime, I'm going to try to find my place of peace and love. And remember to be grateful that for whatever unfathomable reason it might be, I'm given a little extra space to breathe right now.

There's something beautiful in stopping and looking around every once in a while, and I'll try to make the most of it.