coronavirus as blessing?

My friend, Vernie, used to always say what our overpopulated world really needs is a new plague that can indiscriminately take out a big chunk of the world's population, and while the coronavirus isn't that, I do think there is a silver lining to this cloud.

Obviously, I don't want innocent people dying or even feeling sick. I don't want to see people I love freaking out and buying hazmat suits because they're so scared of what could happen. My heart goes out to the people who are really stressed about schools closing and wondering how their kids who depend on the free lunches are going to eat— not to mention how they're going to work and make sure their family is both safe and also that all of the bills will be paid.

And yes, it's stressful to go shopping and find that Costco is out of toilet paper and Trader Joe's is out of eggs, and you end up buying a case of bottled water even though your fridge has water because everyone else has carts filled with them. The stress is palpable and heavy, spiking and charging the very air we share, everywhere we go now.

It's hard to wrap our heads around all of the schools being closed and basically everything "normal" being canceled. My daughters' school will be closed for at least a month. My husband's work has given everyone two weeks off for spring break, and everything will happen remotely the two weeks after that. So, that's a month for him to be home, too.

This weekend, my daughter didn't attend Girl Scouts or a birthday pool party. My husband and I skipped a wine tasting party, and I was going to miss my acting class— until it was canceled.

We're canceling our spring break trip to Mexico to explore ruins with cousins and siblings. We're canceling our summer plans to go to Taiwan so my daughters can learn Chinese. I love travel and am sad to let those adventures go, but I also recognize how lucky I am to be "stuck" somewhere pretty nice and continue to strive to find the bright side of all this.

So, as we grapple to find our new normal, here is something to consider.

What if the world's problem is not coronavirus? What if our collective ailment is our competitive go-go-go mentality that has left everyone feeling increasingly isolated and stressed? What if the coronavirus and our now enforced quarantine is the solution?

I know this will not be a popular opinion, but I think maybe staying home and slowing down is just what we all need.

Maybe we were so pigheaded about going forward forward forward (or what we perceived to be forward), unable to even consider slowing down, that it took something as crazy as COVID-19 to literally knock the wind out of us, grabbing both of our arms and stapling us to the floor, to force us to snap out of our whirlwind lives and STOP for a second to look around and consider our lives.

I can imagine someone rising from the dust of being thrown to the ground, shaking their head in a daze as they look around, like Dorothy waking up in Oz. Except this is our real life that we maybe allowed to go on autopilot for too long.

How did I get here? Is this the life I want? Am I giving the world all that I can? Am I on the path that best serves me and my family? Am I pushing myself in the best ways-- growing, contributing, leaving a lasting positive impact on our collective world?

Maybe the coronavirus is actually a wake-up call to live our lives more fully.

If you're an adult, is this the grown-up life you'd dreamed of living when you were a kid?

If you're a parent, I can imagine the dazed head shaking and saying, "Wow, my daughter/son is how old now?" It can almost bring me to tears when I think of my young children— weren't they just babies a second ago? Where has the time gone? Have I done enough and loved them enough as a mama? What if the rest of their childhood passes in a blur, and I miss it? I can't let that happen!

If you're an even more mature adult, have you used your decades on this planet to serve humanity, gather wisdom, and share love and kindness to all? (Because you know, all people are supposed to have done that by the time they're old, right?)

We have more control than we think, and we can all live lives that we want. It's not just a luxury for the ultra rich (who I have not perceived to be happier or more free).

Within our mundane everyday lives, we can find sparkling moments of joy and love and connection and meaning, but we have to create the space and time for them— and many of us don't seem to have even a nanosecond to stop and breathe. (Hi, parents of young children! Hi, entrepreneurs giving our sweat and blood to nothing more than an idea! Hi, caretakers devoting yourselves to someone else's every day quality of life! And everyone who is giving their all to the struggle that is everyday life! I see you!)

Enter: CORONAVIRUS.

Now, even the world's #1 workaholic has an excuse to just sit down for a second and look around. And that's a form of grace and forgiveness. We all get a break.

So, while not glamorous or exciting, my family is doing a deeper cleaning/organizing of our house today-- something we never have time for. All those random doodads (my girls' "art supplies") that have been stashed here and there are now going to be given proper homes or discarded.

We've been looking at recipes we've been meaning to try but haven't had time for.

My 4-year-old says we should snuggle and read stories all day, and for the first time, it's an idea that we could actually consider.

Of course, we haven't even gotten to day 1 of a month of no school, so ask me how I'm feeling again in a couple days, and I might be ready to drop kick my fighting, complaining kids to outer space, but in the meantime, I'm going to try to find my place of peace and love. And remember to be grateful that for whatever unfathomable reason it might be, I'm given a little extra space to breathe right now.

There's something beautiful in stopping and looking around every once in a while, and I'll try to make the most of it.

a grief all modern humans share

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My beloved 10th grade English teacher, Mr. Krieckhaus, and I have been emailing recently about life, and he shared this excerpt from Francis Weller's The Wild Edge of Sorrow with me.

I'm lucky that I always have somewhere I can turn to expand my mind, and this really made me brain explode a bit. This is a grief that we humans share, living in the modern world, and he describes it so well.

As we approach Thanksgiving, let's see how we can change this.

It can feel daunting to read something like this. A heavy weight sits upon us as we think of our lack of village. But that is temporary, like everything else. We can start to build a village, start welcoming people, and creating this community wherever we are with whatever we have, right now.

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the day i stopped saying ’’hurry up’’

This is a brilliant post for all of you harried parents out there. Enjoy.

When you’re living a distracted life, every minute must be accounted for. You feel like you must be checking something off the list, staring at a screen, or rushing off to the next destination. And no matter how many ways you divide your time and attention, no matter how many duties you try and multi-task, there’s never enough time in a day to ever catch up.

That was my life for two frantic years. My thoughts and actions were controlled by electronic notifications, ring tones, and jam-packed agendas. And although every fiber of my inner drill sergeant wanted to be on time to every activity on my overcommitted schedule, I wasn’t.

You see, six years ago I was blessed with a laid-back, carefree, stop-and-smell-the roses type of child.

• When I needed to be out the door, she was taking her sweet time picking out a purse and a glittery crown.
• When I needed to be somewhere five minutes ago, she insisted on buckling her stuffed animal into a car seat.
• When I needed to grab a quick lunch at Subway, she’d stop to speak to the elderly woman who looked like her grandma.
• When I had thirty minutes to get in a run, she wanted me to stop the stroller and pet every dog we passed.
• When I had a full agenda that started at 6 a.m., she asked to crack the eggs and stir them ever so gently.

find the should and ditch the guilt

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Happy December! This can be one of the most joyous months of the year, but it can also be one of the most stressful. So, let's talk about freedom. Two imprisoning concepts for many people seem to be expectations and guilt (often related but not necessarily so).

Eric Barker has written a few different posts about expectations, and the takeaway exercise or game I really like is called "find the should." As Barker says, we don't get upset about events; we get upset about our beliefs.

Our lives don't change at the moment when someone passes away, but we may fall apart when someone tells us the news a few days later as if it just happened. Or we may find someone offensive and rude until we hear that their child is battling cancer, and then we become more forgiving, more patient.

Barker uses traffic as an example. We find it frustrating because the highways should be clear, or traffic should be elsewhere—but reality isn't always so agreeable. If we learn to expect traffic as part of a normal commuting experience, for example, we can accept it rather than let it ruin our day. Instead of spending an hour grumbling and stressed about being late, we can listen to an audiobook and leave earlier so as not to feel so rushed.

I know. It's all easy in theory; I'd also do yoga and work out every day in this hypothetical world. But in this case, I've found even working on this a little has yielded huge benefits, and with practice, it does make our lives more pleasant.

Long story short: We can avoid frustration regardless of what is happening. Nothing needs to change except our perception of a situation. We can choose our reality as we experience it, and that's powerful.

So, if you're feeling irritated, see if you can find the "should" that hasn't been fulfilled. He should know I'm allergic to cats/love brownies/hate zoos. She should remember I always order tuna but can't eat shellfish, and I'm going to the dentist at 2pm. S/he should take out the trash/cook dinner/clean the kitchen.

You get the idea. So, what's your "should"? Examine it. Is that expectation realistic? What if we get rid of the "should"?

This has become a good exercise my partner and I play whenever we get frustrated, and it usually dispels the irritation quickly. (It's also entertaining to make fun of each other's "shoulds" when we examine them in bright daylight. Like: My 3-year-old should know how to behave in a restaurant. Riiiiiight. Good one.)

The other burden people (especially parents) feel is guilt. Guilt for not spending enough quality time with the kids. Or guilt for not putting in enough time at work. Or both.

In Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish's book, Liberated Parents, Liberated Children: Your Guide to a Happier Family, they discuss guilt as a poison that only creates hatred, and that's also pretty potent stuff. Their argument is that making children (or adults, for that matter) feel guilty makes them feel badly about themselves and eventually hate you for it. Yowsers. That'll make us think twice about making someone feel guilty, no?

And self-imposed guilt is just as toxic. I didn't blog at all during the month of November because I was frantically working on NaNoWriMo. I "won" and reached the 50,000-word milestone, but it means other things fell by the wayside. And that's a great analogy for life. We are the choices we make, and you don't need to feel guilty if you can't do every little thing perfectly.

We can only do the best we can from where we are with what we have, and that's as good as it'll get.

So, this got a little heavier than I planned, but it should be worth it. To recap:

find the should + ditch the guilt = freedom.

Now, that's a good gift we can give ourselves. 

unfurling

via

You know that intoxicating, exhilarating feeling you get when you're falling in love with someone or something new? Where you feel like you've been crumpled up into a tight little ball all of your life and can finally spread your wings and be you and free and open and larger than life and part of the universe at large?

I found it.

For now.

I've fallen in love before, felt this high before, and then life gets in the way, and I lose it again. Well, I'm a little older and a little wiser now, and I'm hoping I'll get to enjoy this flight a little longer this time.

And where is this magical feeling? Funny enough, it has been inspired by my first MOOC (massive open online course) that I'm taking with the University of Iowa. Yes, they're considered the bastion of creative writing in the country, etc., etc., etc. And the fiction course has already been both illuminating and fun. But the real spark for me is the combination of actively writing while also being part of a writing community.

It's like being a frog in a duck pond for years and then discovering other frogs. I've finally found my tribe, and we are a wonderfully quirky bunch. We make jokes about Oxford commas, exalt in a beautiful phrase, and delight in making sentences richer or tighter or more compelling. We bang our heads, drawing the famous trio of body fluids (blood, sweat, and tears) as we struggle to translate the inklings in our heads that feel so magnificent into concrete words that will hopefully also make sense to other people. And maybe, just maybe, we'll be able to write something that someone else will recognize as the truth.

I've connected with one writer so far who I'm already calling my MOOC BFF, and she alone has made my experience as a student once again so much more entertaining and more inspiring than I expected or thought possible. Having someone along for the ride, even if I've never seen her face or heard her voice or know what race she is or anything else, has given the solitary writing career a warmth that I didn't realize was possible. We are connecting as writers first and foremost, and that is an amazing validating experience, too. Thanks, Heather. I've only "known" you online and only for a few weeks so far, but you've already made a positive impact in my life.

So, I tried one career after another, "dating" usually for about four years, and now, I think I've found the One. I'm hoping to finally settle down and commit to being a writer. 100%. No more excuses or distractions.

And from this dream cloud I'm floating in, filled with love and light and enthusiasm, I wish this feeling for everyone. I'm working on a screenplay and hoping to finish it this month. Then, I've signed up for NaNoWriMo and hope to write the novel version of the story in November. And then I have another previous story that I hope to craft into both a novel and screenplay. So, I've made my public commitment and now have to live up to it.

What makes you come alive? What would you do if time and money were no object? What can you do right now/today/this week to inch closer to your dream life? Let's make it happen!

I'm fired up! The sky can't hold me! Want to join me? Let's go!

a love story in 52 seconds

I just attended the Central Coast Writer's Conference, and this was one of the highlights: a love story in fifty-two seconds. Enjoy.

10 things you should do every day to improve your life

Erik Barker has great life reminders, and this one is exactly the kind of post I'm referring to. Simple, to-the-point, and research-based tips for a better life. May we all foster better habits to enjoy better lives.

What 10 Things Should You Do Every Day To Improve Your Life?

10 things that scientific research shows can help improve your life.

1) Get out in nature

You probably seriously underestimate how important this is. (Actually, there’s research that says you do.) Being in nature reduces stress, makes you more creative, improves your memory and may even make you a better person.

the perfect parent

I know, the perfect parent does not exist. But holy cow, this description comes as close to any I've seen, and I hope to one day be something like this father was to his kids.

From quora:

How can I be a good father?

Lou Davis, Emergency Department Sister, A... (more)

63 upvotes by Jae Won Joh, Steven Shakeshaft, Sajeev Shanmuganandarajah,(more)

I'm going to tell you about my dad, he is the 'best' father ever (bar none!)

I am adopted. So the first great thing my dad did was to jump through the hoops that are part of the adoption process. That was tough (and humiliating - asked questions about really private things)

So that's the first thing you need to know, being a dad is really tough.

They had my brother first and, two years later, by a quirk of fate, the adoption society rang and said my mum and dad could have a baby girl that someone else had backed out of having. The problem was, they needed to get to the place by 5pm. But my mum was out, so my dad and his employees drove around looking for my mum and my brother.

So that's the second thing, tenacity and determination.

Then they had to wait 6 months before the papers were finalised, my dad sat in my room in a chair every night because he was frightened my birth mother would change her mind.

So, you have to be prepared to put up with discomfort.

It WAS finalised, I was theirs. But I was a very 'fragile' child, frightened of rejection (I still am!) but my dad never sighed or raised his eyes heavenwards. He would tell me I was beautiful (so you need to learn how to be kind)

And you need to be patient.

My dad used to tell me he wouldn't sell me for 'all of the money in the world and a five pound note!'

So you need to be able to provide comfort and reassurance.

My dad had a heart attack when he was 39, but he got better and he still played football with my brother and he used to run around with us.

So you have to be determined and you have to 'join in!' that was important to my brother and I.

My grandad had a stroke when I was young, my dad used to go 3 nights a week, straight after work, to put my grandad to bed,

And, in doing that, he taught me that family is important and that you sometimes need to help other people.

Occasionally, he would take me to school and I would ask him to write a letter excusing me from PE (physical education!) (ironic really, considering I'm a fanatical cyclist and do triathlon now!) And he would write the note.(and not tell my mum)

So, you might have to learn to be sneaky.

If I ever forgot my ingredients for cookery, I would phone my dad (by now a pretty high powered business man) and he would leave work to help me out (I was selfish I know but it shows that:-

You love your children more than anything.

When my first boyfriend and I separated, my dad told me that he had never liked him-

You support your children when times are tough.

After a serious illness (bacterial meningitis) I was rather depressed. My dad used to turn up, read the paper, make a cup of tea and then leave.

And he showed that a good dad can just sit and not say anything.

My dad listens to me moan, he gives me a handkerchief when I cry (and was wonderful when my first child was stillborn) He shares my joy when I laugh.
He is proud of my achievements.

It isn't about toys and things, it's about love and support always.

If you can be like my dad, your children will be as lucky as I have been.

I wish you happiness.

the science of happier holidays

The Wall Street Journal, known for its economic, financial and business reporting, isn't the first place you'd think of for giving this advice, but it's well-timed and so relevant as we head into what is often a last-minute Christmas shopping frenzy. So, here's a fresh (and research-based) reminder to enjoy happier holidays for us all.

Thanksgiving and Gratitude: The Science of Happier Holidays

It’s easy to get caught up in the rush of materialism, which has been shown to undermine happiness. There’s a simple antidote: Practice gratitude

ENLARGE

How can we avoid falling into the unhappiness trap of materialism this holiday season? One answer has been emerging from social science: Cultivate a mind-set of gratitude. GETTY IMAGES

By

JASON MARSH and DACHER KELTNER

As the holiday shopping season moves into high gear, it’s easy to get caught up in the rush of spending. But consider this conclusion from recent scientific research: Materialistic people are less happy than their peers. They experience fewer positive emotions, are less satisfied with life and suffer higher levels of anxiety, depression, and substance abuse.

Why is this the case—and how can we avoid falling into the unhappiness trap of materialism this holiday season?

One answer has been emerging from social science: Cultivate a mind-set of gratitude. Gratitude is proving to be about much more than the occasional “thank you.” Instead, the principles of Thanksgiving give rise to a unique way of seeing the world.

The latest evidence suggests that, rather than simply being about good manners, the emotion of gratitude might have deep roots in humans’ evolutionary history, sustaining the social bonds that are key not only to our happiness but also to our survival as a species.

10 days without complaining or criticizing

The happify infographic had a little gratitude section that suggested not complaining or criticizing for ten days to see what happens, and my partner and I are giving it a try.

We were curious to know what the difference was between a negative observation and criticizing/complaining—are we unable to make any negative comments?

So, here are the definitions of complain and criticize, and it seems they do include what one could try to justify as a "negative observation."

complain, verb
1. to express dissatisfaction, pain, uneasiness, censure, resentment, or grief; find fault.
2. to tell of one's pains, ailments, etc.
3. to make a formal accusation.

criticize, verb
1. to censure or find fault with.

2. to judge or discuss the merits and faults of.

3. to find fault; judge unfavorably or harshly.

4. to make judgments as to merits and faults.

We're hosting two Thanksgiving dinners, one with our coworkers, and one with our families, and it'll be great to talk about this exercise.

So, here's to day one. We'll see how this goes. Want to join us? It should be a powerful exercise.

happy eating

With Thanksgiving around the corner, here's a great happify infographic on how to get the most out of your eating experience. Enjoy!

what the words you choose communicate about you

One of my favorite bloggers, Eric Barker, was just featured in Time magazine with this great piece on what the words you choose say about you.

The best part? The 7-38-55 rule near the end-- which may say that words don't mean that much after all.

Enjoy.

What do the words you use say about you?
by ERIC BARKER

A lot.

Your personality can be determined just by looking at the way you text message. You can make accurate judgments about your favorite author’s personality just by reading their work. You can probably tell a great deal about my personality from the words I use in my blog posts.

Word choice can predict whether you’re depressed, suicidal or lying. Swearing makes you more persuasive. It’s true, asshole:

…obscenity at the beginning or end of the speech significantly increased the persuasiveness of the speech and the perceived intensity of the speaker. Obscenity had no effect on speaker credibility.

what happy families have in common

Eric Barker does great research. Here's yet another insightful one.

6 Things The Happiest Families All Have In Common AUGUST 17, 2014 by ERIC BARKER

Family life is hectic. Most of us play it by ear and hope it works out well.

Or maybe you haven’t started a family yet but when you do you want to do itright.

Aren’t there some legit answers out there about what creates the happiest families? Yes, there are.

To get the facts I called Bruce Feiler, author of the New York Times bestseller,The Secrets of Happy Families.

When writing his book, Bruce knew there were answers already out there — but not necessarily where we’d expect.

He found solutions to common family problems in business theory, Harvard negotiation techniques, and even by talking to Green Berets.

Below you’ll learn:

1. The #1 predictor of your child’s emotional well-being.
2. The #1 predictor of their academic achievement — and behavior problems.
3. And the simple thing that steers kids away from drugs, toward better grades and even improves their self-esteem. And more.

Here’s what makes strong, happy families:

1) Create A Family Mission Statement

I asked Bruce what he would recommend if he could only give one piece of advice.

He said: “Set aside time to talk about what it means to be a part of your family.”

Ask: “What are your family values?” In business-speak: Develop a mission statement for your family.

daily routines of highly productive people

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This is a great response I came across on quora, and I hope you also gain some insight from it.

What are the best daily routines of highly productive people?

James Altucher, Blogger, author, social media,... (more) 

636 upvotes by Joni Strickfaden, Malika Nayar, Dirceu Pereira Tiegs, (more)

I don't know if I'm very productive. I take naps during the day. Sometimes I start businesses that fail. I often go down paths that lead to dead ends. 

At the same time, I'm on the board of some very successful companies. I'm a successful investor. I write a lot. I have a top podcast. 

I look at my calendar for next week and everything I'm doing is something I love doing. It took me a long time to build up to this level of productivity but that's because I wasn't doing so well the things I list below. 

Most important: I love my wife and I think she loves me. Sometimes I don't know if she loves me. Perhaps my most unproductive time is when I am wondering if she loves me. 

I also get annoyed at my kids sometimes. This is very unproductive. Like, if one is late and I'm just sitting in the car. But I have a trick for making that time in my life productive as long as I'm not yelling at her or getting angry. 

Anger is never productive. Some people are foolish and think that anger drives them forward but it doesn't. Anger stabs at your heart and then your heart closes. You need your heart to be open. 

How come? Because neurons transmit messages from your gut to your heart to your head. Everything needs to be open so your neurochemicals transmit messages effeciently.

So the first question is: what is productive? 

I like to be in love with people and my favorite hobbies. Then I like to be successful at those things. And all other times I like to be sleeping or thinking of nothing. 

That is success for me. 

What are side effects of success? Kissing and sex and smiling. Some laughing. Talking to people who make me think. Reading about interesting things. 

Feeling that fire-like feeling in my chest when I'm doing something I'm proud of. And money is a side-effect. Note that money is not a goal. 

Having money as a goal makes it very hard to make money. Money is a side effect of the daily routine I am about to tell you. 

These are all just side effects. And they are all happening in my life right now. 

MY ROUTINE: 

First off, I'm going to love you today. I picture you, the reader, and I'm in love with you. I'm grateful you are reading this. This makes a flood of oxytocin trigger in my brain so I can keep writing this and I'm happy doing it. 

5 easy ways to help others (and give yourself a happiness boost)

Even though research says helping others is one of the main ways to achieve happiness, it seems too easy to say "I'm too busy to help others." So, here are a few suggestions from happify on how to help others without much effort or time.

The 5 Easiest Ways to Give Others (and Yourself) a Happiness Boost

By Jessica Cassity

Little things matter: even the smallest gestures add up to big happiness gains.

Hundreds of studies have found that actively helping people does good things for the psyches of all involved. By going out of your way to bring dinner to an overworked friend, pay for someone else's highway toll, or otherwise lend a hand, you get a positive brain boost and so does the person you helped.

But Paul Zak, PhD, a neuroeconomist and a professor at Claremont Graduate University, says even less tangible acts of kindness can make the giver—and especially the recipient—feel good. These small deeds require minimal effort on your part but are often experienced just as deeply—or even more so—than many of the run-of-the-mill things people do to be good to one another.

Here are five of Dr. Zak's favorite ways to give the people in his life a little happiness boost (while reaping some of those same feel-good benefits for himself!). See which ones work best for you.

1. Ask “How can I be of service to you?”

Zak repeats this phrase in just about every meeting he attends. Doing so makes your collaborators feel supported and heard, which is especially important around the workplace. This also gives your colleagues a chance to air concerns and ask for any additional help they might need. Of course, this phrase can be used with anyone at any time. If a friend or family member is going through a transition or a busier than usual period—such as welcoming a new baby—a check-in like this will be much appreciated.

a speech to fire you up

This speech was delivered in 2008, but it remains as relevant and powerful as ever.  Enjoy.

Life and How to Survive It
by Adrian Tan

I must say thank you to the faculty and staff of the Wee Kim Wee School of Communication and Information for inviting me to give your convocation address. It’s a wonderful honour and a privilege for me to speak here for ten minutes without fear of contradiction, defamation or retaliation. I say this as a Singaporean and more so as a husband.

My wife is a wonderful person and perfect in every way except one. She is the editor of a magazine. She corrects people for a living. She has honed her expert skills over a quarter of a century, mostly by practising at home during conversations between her and me.

On the other hand, I am a litigator. Essentially, I spend my day telling people how wrong they are. I make my living being disagreeable.

Nevertheless, there is perfect harmony in our matrimonial home. That is because when an editor and a litigator have an argument, the one who triumphs is always the wife.

And so I want to start by giving one piece of advice to the men: when you’ve already won her heart, you don’t need to win every argument.

Marriage is considered one milestone of life. Some of you may already be married. Some of you may never be married. Some of you will be married. Some of you will enjoy the experience so much, you will be married many, many times. Good for you.

The next big milestone in your life is today: your graduation. The end of education. You’re done learning.

You’ve probably been told the big lie that “Learning is a lifelong process” and that therefore you will continue studying and taking masters’ degrees and doctorates and professorships and so on. You know the sort of people who tell you that? Teachers. Don’t you think there is some measure of conflict of interest? They are in the business of learning, after all. Where would they be without you? They need you to be repeat customers.

The good news is that they’re wrong.

happy dads

Happy Father's Day weekend!  Here's some information showing that fathers seem happier and healthier than men without kids:

Infographic: What You Need to Know About Dads and Happiness

your partner's optimism matters more than your own

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Your partner's optimism has a greater impact on your longevity than your own optimism, as discovered here.

Having an optimistic spouse predicted better mobility and fewer chronic illnesses over time, even above and beyond a person’s own level of optimism, according to a new University of Michigan study of 3,940 adults.

So, if your partner falls into the doldrums, you now have another reason to cheer them up-- your own health and well-being.

motherhood

Happy May!  In honor of all the moms, here's an infographic on motherhood.  Enjoy!

the science of raising happy children

Here are some interesting findings on raising happy children that could probably apply to adults, too.